Not Enough Time~ (Ksi // reader)

:/

Simon

He's taken a break from youtube to recover from the grief, the pity was aching in my heart for my bestfriend. She meant everything to him and she was taken away too soon, there was nothing I could do to help either, but to stand there and watch his health become worse and worse. His mood would sometimes vary, from depressed to uncomfortably angry.

JJ began going to the gym more and and making himself seen less around the house, if I listened properly I could sometimes hear him cry himself to sleep and the emotional pain hit me like a truck.

Today was her funeral and he of course wasn't going, I tried to talk to him so many times, telling him that surely he should go and make himself present. JJ would just shake his head and then close the door in my face- close himself out from the rest of the world one more time. This had to stop, it wouldn't have been what (Y/n) would've wanted.

I was ready, dressed all in black. Approaching his door I knocked, he opened it and took a look at me. "Please come JJ." My voice quivered a little and was barely a whisper, I could hear him gulp- to my surprise he slowly nodded and walked out of the room, his eyes red and himself dressed in a black suit. Pride swept over me seeing him being strong like this and my arm ended up resting on his shoulder.

"It's what (Y/n) would've wanted JJ." My voice was as soft and caring as I could, I knew he would react badly because of the way his eyes darkened and the fact that he stiffened up.

"Do you think she wanted this?" Anger rattled in his voice.

"No, but she would've wanted you to be strong, like you are being now." I said clearly, making sure I didn't muddle up my words out of anxiety. A long breath escaped his lips and he hung his head defeated, I embraced him and we made our way to the car. "Have you got the Eulogy ready?" I asked, raising an eyebrow whilst my hands rested on the steering wheel of my black Tesla. He nodded and did up his seatbelt and put in headphones to listen to music and distance himself from the situation.

~*~

"Dear (Y/n),
I know I'm the one guy who you wouldn't expect a cringe speech from but I'm going to give it my best, for you. You were too young, I wasn't ready for you to go and now here I am standing in front of a crowd of people who didn't know you for you- speaking. Wow, you would be so proud me...I think you would comment about my "courage" but always support me. But to be honest this is scary, I don't know how to manage myself without you being there and telling me what to wear or what to do in difficult situation. Everyday becomes a drag without you by my side to make me laugh about things, man those jokes could make a Monday look appealing.
I hope you hear this somehow and know that I love you, someday you never know, I might join you. Not too soon though sorry, I'm doing what you told me to do and after this funeral is over I will act like nothing happened and move on. It was your last wish and I will follow it to the day I die.
Love,
JJ. "

I watched the tear fall from his eyes as he folded the little, seemingly crumpled, piece of paper in his pocket and left the stand in a hurry, not being able to stay around her family for long who he had got to know so well. I saw them look at him, their eyes following him as he exited, a tear falling from her mothers eye.

It was unbearable for him.

It was unbearable for everyone.