But You Don't Care

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The walk home was very tense. I trudged in the back behind my brothers. I'd get the occasional glance from someone, or get a glare from Ichimatsu. I kept a tight grip on my belongings as I listened to the muffled conversation between everyone in front of me, my name coming up on occasion. I heard a faint crash down an alley and jumped, my full attention focused on it. My brothers didn't seem to notice, so I wandered off without them and walked down the narrow in-between. I found a trashcan knocked over and a small dog limping out of it. She looked up at me, her pointed ears facing my direction. I knelt down under the light above a building's door and held out my hand. The small dog trotted forward and sniffed it, then carefully nudged it. I gently stroked my hand through her fur, getting a tail wag in response.

"Well, it's nice to finally see a friendly face for once," I smiled, a vaguely foreign feeling. I looked around a few times before wrapping the dog in my clothes and setting back out. My brothers were nowhere to be seen, so I continued my walk home. The pup licked my chin gently.

"I think I'll name you Rie. You like that name?" Rie yapped at me happily and curled up into my arms. I looked up and noticed I was at home. A cold breeze blew through the street as I approached my house. I looked down and noticed that Rie was sleeping. I scaled the side of the house with some trouble, but managed to get to the roof. I opened the side window and saw my brothers sleeping. Was I really away for that long and they didn't notice? I sighed and silently snuck Rie into a box and hid her carefully, then crawled into my old spot. It felt so weird to sleep here again, but I eventually dozed off nonetheless.

~~~

I was abruptly woken up by a slap to the face from none other than Ichimatsu.

"Where the hell were you?! You think it's funny to run off like that?! You really are shitty!"

I blinked a few times and saw my other brothers squatting around me, some half asleep. I looked to the side and saw Jyushimatsu investigating the small box with Rie inside. I lunged at him and tackled him away from it. Jyushimatsu made a sound of both pain and enjoyment.

"Oooooh, are we wrestling, Karamatsu-niisan?" I looked up at my smiling younger brother. I nervously spit out words with a shaky smile.

"U-Uh, yeah! We are, I wanted to, er, surprise you!"

"Oooooh! Octopus hold!"

"W-Wait-"

It was too late. Jyushimatsu had already wrapped himself around me as our other brothers laughed. I felt a little joy with an underlying stabbing feeling of embarrassment. I laughed it off and quickly caught myself as Jyushimatsu released me. He let out a deep and elongated gasp of joy.

"PUPPY!!"
Oh God, no please. Don't take this away from me.

Jyushimatsu picked up Rie, who had tumbled out of the box. He ran in circles with her cradled in his arms. I reached out for her with worry. I felt a harsh smack on my hand.

"What the hell?! Why would you bring a damn dog in here?!" Ichimatsu hissed. Choromatsu was attempting to calm Jyushimatsu down while Todomatsu recorded the whole ordeal on his cellphone. I stared up at Ichimatsu from my position on the ground.

"Sh-She was all alone so I brought her back here!" I replied. He didn't seem amused.

"You know how I feel about dogs, you inconsiderate asshat!"

"Ahh, calm down Ichimatsu! It's just a puppy. Besides, it's pretty cute. I think we'll have a good time with her!" Osomatsu finally stepped in. Ichimatsu looked at the other brothers playing Rie, then glared daggers at me.

"Tch. A stupid dog for a stupid brother."
He quickly got back into bed. His insult pulled at my heart inside. Jyushimatsu ran up to me.

"What's her name, Karamatsu-niisan?" he asked hurriedly. I looked up out of my daze with raised eyebrows.

"Oh, uh, her name is Rie," I smiled confidently. A common and useful mask. Jyushimatsu smiled widely and ran back to the small puppy. Choromatsu was holding her.

"That's enough, Jyushimatsu. Besides, this is Karamatsu's dog. Let's go back to bed," he handed Rie back to me. I looked down at her, and she seemed tired out. I smiled kindly and put her back in the box, in which she curled up and slept soundly. Oh, how I envied her calm sleep. While I lay awake, a victim to my own thoughts. I listened to the others snore and murmur in their sleep.

God, you're so shitty. Look at you, couldn't even hold your own against your younger brother. Pathetic.

I looked to my side and saw myself sitting there. My brothers were gone. It was only me and, well, me. But this me was wearing a mask. I tried to sit up but something was restricting me. I couldn't do anything except listen and stare. My doppelganger crawled closer to me, his blue mask and brown eyes staring down at me.

Why don't you just give up already? You know you want to give in to me. You're worthless anyways, nobody would care if you just gave up.

"I-I can't give up. My Karamatsu Girls need me!"

Your Karamatsu Girls aren't yours. You're just a creepy NEET that thinks everyone loves him. Well I'll tell you what.

He climbed up on me and pushed his knees into my chest, making it hard to breathe. He leaned into my face and removed his mask. His face closely resembled mine, minus the scars and different color eyes. He bared a sharp-toothed smile and a sinner's gaze.

Nobody loves you. You're alone. You're absolutely worthless, a piece of trash, shitty, painful, annoying, ugly. But, hey, you'll always have me. Forever and ever.

~~~

I opened my eyes and I was laying in a back alleyway. I was freezing. I stood up and shivered as I wrapped my arms around my body. It was oddly silent out, but then again I was more concerned about the fact I was outside in the middle of the night. I ended up in the middle of the street and started to walk... Somewhere. I heard quiet footsteps behind me.

"Well, well, look who's back for more?" I heard a familiar voice call out. I turned around and saw the men from that fateful night behind me. I started to run, but it was no use. There were more in front of me. I backed up and looked around. I was completely surrounded.

"What now, pretty boy?" the leader called out. I felt something in my pocket and quickly ripped it out in desperation. It was... A gun? How did I get this? I pointed it at him and the entire group shrunk back.

"You all did this to me... You all ruined my life!" I screamed shakily. They all glared in their black forms.

"Don't do something you'll regret."

Someone grabbed me from behind.

Bang!

~~~

I woke up covered in sweat. I was surrounded by black figures with staring eyes. I shrunk and backed up.

"Geez, Karamatsu, you were having quite the nightmare," Osomatsu said.

"Oh, right. Just a nightmare. Yes, I'm sorry."

It's always just a nightmare.

Always.