But You Don't Care

jyushi

(A/N: Hey! This chapter has some sad, triggering and disturbing stuff in it! Only read if you're okay with that!)

-Ichimatsu's POV-

I tossed and turned in my sleep, an uncomfortable feeling in my head. I opened my eyes with a start, frustrated with my sudden waking. I yawned and sat up, and I instantly noticed the absence next to me. The spot didn't feel warm when I touched it. I noticed a letter enclosed in an envelope on his pillow with a blue number one on it. I picked it up, then looked at the rest of my brothers. We each had a letter above our heads, all numbered. I raised an eyebrow as I sat on my knees.

"Guys, wake up." I said. Choromatsu seemingly woke up instantly. He rubbed his eyes as he looked over at me.

"Yeah? What is it, Ichimatsu?"

"Karamatsu is gone, and there's a bunch of letters around here. I hope he's not planning something painful again." Choromatsu quickly sat up and looked at the letters. He started nudging our other brothers, each of them slowly waking up.

"Ech...whaaaat? It's too early to wake up." Osomatsu whined. God, I wanted to punch him. He yawned and sat up with the rest of us.

"Hey, what's with all the letters? And where's Karamatsu?" He asked. I picked up the first letter and looked up at my brothers.

"Go ahead and open it, Ichimatsu. You're the one who found it." Choromatsu waved on. I opened the letter slowly, expecting glitter or sequins to fall out. To my surprise, it was just a paper. I pulled it out and unfolded it, beginning to read it aloud.

My dear family,

Let me start off with saying I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't be a better brother. A better person. A better son. I've decided that this is the end of my path. I've left home, and I'm not coming back. Do not come looking for me, you won't like what you find. Please don't blame yourselves for this. This was all my bidding. I wish nothing but the best for you all, and I've left all of you a letter. There's one for Tomomi under my pillow with a 7 on it, and one for mom and dad with an 8.

So this is goodbye. Rather, this is an "I'll see you soon." Maybe in another life we can all live harmoniously, without such hindering obstacles like mental illness and constant bickering. Please take good care of my dog. I know she'll need the company.

I love you all,
Matsuno Karamatsu

Before I knew it, all of us were dressed and out the door, our letters waiting on our pillows for when we return. The wind lashed wildly and blew the snow falling from the sky in various directions. I felt tears sting my face as we followed the footprints in the snow.

~~~

-Karamatsu's POV-

I trudged through the whipping snow, clutching a small kitchen knife to my body. The vicious voices in my head followed me around with every move I made, laughing at me and teasing me. I stopped beside the bridge and stood by a tree I used to dwell around. I stared up at the dark grey sky, tears pouring out of my eyes. Despite all this, I wore a smile. I knew peace would come soon. It would hurt until then, but it was almost over. I pulled up my sleeves, the cold wind grabbing at my exposed skin. I took a heavy breath and sunk the knife blade deep into my left wrist, pulling it back, hissing at the smooth ripping sound. I followed with my right wrist with some trouble. I dropped the knife and knelt down, staring at the snow around me quickly becoming a deep red. The cold and rapid blood loss combined, and I flopped forward with my face staring out past the river. I felt myself getting colder and colder. I have no idea how long I had laid there, at least ten minutes.