SOUND OFF

Chapter:12

I hugged and kissed him goodbye before watching him board his flight. I watched it take off down the runway and up into the air. I then had to go to my first day of my usual summer job. I got to the bull ranch and clocked in before going out and cleaning pens. If my boyfriend knew this was my summer job, he would have taken me with him to Brazil. I finished cleaning pens and let a few out for me to exercise. I ran them around their paddock keeping them fit before putting them back up.

I got a new group and did the same. All day long I was busy. When my phone started ringing I was in the middle of something and couldn't answer. As I went back to give the bulls water afterwards, I checked it. A missed call from him. I went to recall him when I saw my boss and quickly put my earbuds in to talk to him. On the second ring he answered. "Olá(Hello)." "Ocupado(Busy)?" I asked. "Não para você(Not for you)." He answered. "Desculpa, eu não mais cedo eu consegui algo(Sorry I didn't answer earlier I got tied up doing something)." I said.

He chuckled. "Eu sabia você ligaria de volta. Eu estava apenas ligando para dizer que meu vôo tinha pousado e eu estava informando que eu estava a caminho de casa(I knew you would call back. I was just calling to say my flight had landed and I was letting you know I was on my way home)." He said. "So I'll call you back?" I asked him. "Sim." He answered. "I'll see you in person in Tusla." I said.

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I finished getting everything packed up from finals and exited the building. I spotted Kaique with his buddies. I went up and hugged him before he leaned down to kiss me. I let him hold me close. He and the guys were going home early tomorrow. He then said that he and I were going to retire for the night. Once in the hotel room he picked me up and pressed me to the wall. It as if we couldn't get enough of each other. I finally had to pull back. "We need to stop." I said.

"Why?" He asked. I gave a pleading look. He sighed setting me down. "I know you want to, I do too. It's just not the right time." I said. "And when will it be?" He asked. "I don't know." I answered quietly. "Then how about now? I'll be catching a flight tomorrow home. I won't see you until January." He said. I shook my head. "I don't feel comfortable doing that." I said. "I think I'm going to stay with the guys tonight. Have a safe trip home." He said before getting his bag.

"And yet you don't want to still stay here." I muttered. He left the room. Once the door was closed I gathered all of my things, made sure there was no trace of me there before leaving. I had my truck pulled around before paying the bill. It didn't take me but a few hours to get home. I fell onto my bed and slept for most of the day. My phone rang repeatedly for almost an hour. I ran yet again. I'm scared. I'm a coward. It's my family's fault. I hate being yelled at. I hate sex. I hate when someone is trying to push things on me.

It rang for the last time before a notification popped up. I finally grabbed it seeing the words I knew would happen. He didn't ask why. No one ever does. My brother is in prison. Father is six foot under. Mother is in a rehab center somewhere along the west coast. I've been driven to insanity by my family. I'm a lost cause now. He was all I had left. Now I'm not even sure. I cried myself to sleep wishing I could take on anything in the world and not even remember the bad parts of my past.

I'm not going to drugs, nor alcohol to numb it out. This wasn't supposed to happen. Looks like I'm on my own now.