SLAV FIC

                      

Once upon a time, in the frozen land of Slavonia, there was a town called Squatville.

In that town there were a lot of Adeedas shops full of Adeedas clothing. Everybody in town used to go nuts for those snazzy jackets and trousers and the fashionable style they were bringing to the cold land of Slavonia.

There was a boi named Danieliskij who didn't use to posses one of those clothing pieces everybody wanted. Oh, they were so LIT no one could resist.

He once went to the Adeedas shop to buy a new shiny track suit. He didn't know what kind of wonderful surprise was waiting for him.

At first he went inside the clothing store and started looking for a pitch black tracksuit with white stripes and an obnoxious logo on the left side of the suit.

Look here look there, he couldn't find anything he was looking for! Oh what a pity!

He started moaning and leaning right and left : it was the effect of the beer he was drinking.

His cry for help (or need of death) reached the ears of the cashier who came to help him.

The young man touched Danieliskij's shoulder and talked softly in his ear : "I know what you need".

Danieliskij lost grip on his bottle of beer. the bottle fell and cracked on the floor but he couldn't care less : in front of him standed the most virile and tall man he had ever seen. His eyes were sky blue and his hair was black as the void that was his soul. He feell attracted for the emptiness of the tone of his voice : he felt lifeless but amazing.

"My name is Philovskij and I will help you out finding the darkest tracksuit you have ever seen : it's in my basement. What's your name?"

"DOOT" said Danieliskij in a rush. But it wasn't his real name : he was afraid to talk to a man so handsome.

"You should not be scared to talk to a man handsome as me. I'm beautiful but I won't eat you." His smile is shining but it's kind of creepy.

Danieliskij was falling slowly but his edginess kept him from the love that was slowly dripping in his heart, like the cold beer that was now on the floor, forming a strong smelling lake of regret.

He ran away in despair chased by Philovskij and got caught in the backstreet. He yelled : "Man don't be scared! I want to help you : I will pay for the damage you made inside the shop"

"Yes, but at what cost?" Danieliskij yelled back, repressing his feelings by tightening his fist.

"You will spend a night with me ..."

Danieliskij's eyes opened wide : he couldn't believe what he just heard.

"... and we will talk about cars, muscles, borsh and the difficulties of life nowdays"

"S-sounds legit" whispered Danieliskij.

*************

The very same evening they met under the lights of the stars. They were feeling freaking zazzed for the night.

Danieliskij said : "I will spend this night with you, it will be magical".

"Like my grandma's food, always great." replied Philovskij

"So, what do you want to talk about?" said Danieliskij while picking a cigarette to put it in his mouth, a cigarette he didn't lit up. He thought this would give him an edgy look, he was feeling a little bit intimidated by the cool man.

Philovskij sat in a squat position, his eyes looking into the nothingness of the night sky. The other young boi did the same.

"You know, you should keep yourself hydrated."

Danielskij touched his own chapped dry lips with both hands. Philovskij took away the boi's hands and started kissing him profusely. The cigarette fell down in the white snow and they started loving each others in the frozen night.

Danieliskij undressed Philovskij starting from his Adeedas jumper : oh! It was so soft and fashionable, the black fabric of the tracksuit was so synthetic his hands started sweating.

"I like you when your hands sweat" said Philvskij.

The young boi blushed from head to toe while he was caressing Philovskij hairy chest. The hansome man moaned.

Half naked in the snow, they started making passioned love and held each other's hands all time long. Their eyes met sometimes, but they were secretly scared.

"What if they found out?" asked Philvskij showing fear and weakness for the first time.

"They won't! We can let them know. Or compatriots will never see us like virile men again if they discover.. but what can we do now?"

"I have a solution." Philovskij smirked.

***********************

*lately, in Philovskij's basement*

"What are you looking for?" asked Danieliskij.

"You already know" he answered while looking behind some big vases full of pickles.

"Are you talking about the almighty pitch black tracksuit I was looking for?" asked the young boi.

The handsome man took Danieliskij's hand and brought him away, in a very dark area of the basement. There was a big courtain standing upon an undefined shape. A thing the boi couldn't identify.

"What is that?" he asked.

Philovskij took away the courtain to uncover the horrifying surprise that was kept secret from the eyes of humans.

A ginormous black hole started to absorb everything that was near.

"AAAAAA" screamed Danieliskij, he could barely hear anything "WHAT'S THAT??"

"OUR SALVATION : IF YOU COME WITH ME THEY WILL NEVER FIND OUT ABOUT US!"

"I'M SCARED!" yelled the young boi. Philovskij kissed him again, proving his infinite love.

This was the proof Danieliskij was looking for : it was real love, and with a love so deep they wouldn't be able to live in Squatville anymore.

They decided to live with each others forever and to cross the black hole, looking for different alternative universes.

"I love you from the depths of my slav heart" confessed Danieliskij.

"I love you more than I love to squat and my tracksuits".

"This is love" they said in unison.

And they left forever the frozen land of Slavonia.