Love Amongst A War ↦ H.S a.u [FINISHED]

*Prologue

~Past~

I slipped into the small, stuffy and blandly white room. The small fight with the nurse at the nurses station still fueling some of my anger. I ignore the weird looks from Zayn and the doctor as I take a seat across from the hospital bed. Inside the uncomfortable looking bed lays a limp and unconscious Perrie under a scratchy pastel blue blanket.

Pastel blue was once her favorite color-- or at least it was before everything went to shit.

I continued to examine Perrie while Zayn spoke quietly to the doctor. She had many non-pleasant looking tubes attached to her right hand, that continued to break my heart the more I looked. But, there was even more. At least 20 different chords connected to her body in multiple areas of her chest, continuing to pump life through her veins.

I sit incredibly still, listening to the steady stream of beeps coming from the machines. Hoping, wishing, and willing Perrie to come back to the real world. My world will fall apart without her. She's gotten me through the most, she's been by my side through it all. I blame myself for what happened.

I can see the tall, tan, blue eyed doctor continuously glancing at me out of the corner of my eyes, and I just lose it. The pain I feel inside, masked by anger.

"What are you looking at?" I growl, glancing fiercely at the doctor. I haven't dared look Zayn in the eyes, yet, but I notice him giving me a foul look.

"N-n-nothing." The doctor stutters, surprise clear as day on his face as he quickly glances back down to his chart.

I cross my legs over one another and turn my head slightly in their direction. He'll be an easy punching bag, something that won't take as much energy to take my anger out on. I glare right at the young doctor, no remorse or pity running through my veins anymore.

Don't get me wrong, he's definitely hot and I'd bang him all night if I had the chance, but I'm in no mood. I'm about to have a mental break down, and being in this room is not helping me, whatsoever.

"What the actual fuck?! Why are you still standing there? Stop gawking at me like I'm some fucking freak! Jesus fucking Christ, do you not have anything better to do with your day, like maybe your fucking job for example?!" I all but nearly yell at him rather rudely through gritted teeth. If you stood outside the door, I'm sure you would have heard every word clearly annunciated. Hell, I'm pretty sure that nurse with the shitty attitude could hear me and she's all the way down the hall.

The fear radiating from the doctor's toned body along with the shocked look on his face make me feel emensely satisfied. He quickly turns around and stumbles out of the room, looking worriedly over his shoulder, like I actually might get up and stab him.

In all honesty, I wouldn't put it past me at the moment.

Just after the doctor finally left the room, a plump nurse waddles in with a clear clipboard. She adorns a forced smile on her thin, chapped lips. I analyze her as she walks over to the bed, reads over the machines, and is almost out of the room before she pauses. Her brown, beady eyes rake over me.

"I've seen you around here... on the weekends. You're Melony, aren't you?" She questions as she searches over my face.

I nod curtly and give her a look. Gratefully, she catches my drift and leaves without any further questions. As the door clicks shut, I slowly bring my eyes to the one person I haven't actually looked at yet.

Zayn stares at me, his pupils enlarged and almost covering up the deep hazel color that are full of curiosity and shock, sadness and emptiness. It breaks my heart even more than it already was. We sit there, just staring at each other for a few moments before I decide to finally own up and be the woman I am.

"I'm sorry." I bluntly state as my eyes drift back to the pale figure, laying oddly still. She was always up and going, no matter if she had the flu, or even when she broke her foot. We all thought nothing would ever stop her.

"I never meant for any of this to happen. It was not ever suppose to go this far..." I trail off, motioning to the bed with my right hand, my voice dying out as I look back into his broken eyes. "I am completely and utterly sorry. You have no clue." I conclude and keep my eyes locked on his. He just nods his head slowly before breaking eye contact and examines his tan intertwined fingers resting against his waist.

"How did that nurse know your name?" He causally asks, not even glancing in my direction after the few silent minutes that had past since my apology.

I decide that sitting here, just staring at him, and hoping he will go away isn't going to ever happen. So I don't hold anything back, but I do keep my voice empty of all emotion, because I hate it when humans find out about something I care about. It's usually ripped away from me eventually.

"Well," I begin with a humorless laugh. "I kill people. I kill a lot of people. But..." I glance out the windows in Perrie's hospital room, staring at the large and bustling city below as my thoughts run wild.

"But what?" I'm brought back into the sad reality that is my life as Zayn fishes for me to continue. I look back over at him, into his eyes that are full of so much pain that my already aching heart cracks into its final pieces.

"But I'm in training to be an emergency doctor. Yet, I'm still here being me. Me who basically kills people, innocent or not, to feed and clothe myself. Isn't that just so fucked up, Zayn?" I sincerely ask him, hoping to have him unconsciously help me self-destruct.

"It is." He confirms, and I break eye contact and stare back out the window, watching the steady stream of the infamous New York City traffic. Even from way up here, I can still hear the never ending car horns.

I don't know how long it was before he finally spoke up, but the sun was completely submerged under the skyline, and the moon was raising in to the dark sky.

"How's Damien?" His rough voice pulls me back into the bright, but simultaneously dreary room. I wish for nothing but to be back outside where it isn't so clammy and claustrophobic now.

"Dead." I finally whisper as I slowly peel my eyes away from the window. I move them over to his direction, but I do not actually looking at him. I stare at anything but him, the millions of flowers in millions of vases lining the wall opposite Perrie, the clock that doesn't ever seem to move fast enough, the nurses walking by Perrie's room. "He's dead." I confirm, my voice stronger.

As I say this, it begins to finally sink in.

Damien is actually dead.

The man I love is no longer alive.

"He's dead." I repeat to no one but myself, as betrayal tears fill my jade eyes.

"He's actually dead." I whisper again and glance up into the pair of eyes that I was running away from no longer than 10 hours ago. "And now Perrie's gone as well. Looks like we're even, Malik."

Zayn looks me dead in the eye, anger shaking his body. His lips keep moving like he wants to say something, but can't get it out. But finally he does, and what he says tears through my body like bear claws.

"I hate you. We aren't even." He glares into whatever I have left for a soul. "Not yet, at least."

_____

A/N:

Please tell me if you find any mistakes, both spelling and grammar! I only edit these quickly and I do not find all of the mistakes that I know I had made. I also will take nicely written criticism to heart and will try my best to fix whatever it is you want, unless it is something that I find completely unnecessary to the story itself. Also please comment and vote, it is greatly appreciated.