Because that's totally true! (A parody of everything) (On hold)

Chapter 1) Mary Sue-ing, as usual.

"DRINNGGGG!!!!" The alarm clock snapped me out of my nightmare. My horrible, bloody past. I woke up drenched in my sweat and still smelt as nice as last night before I went to sleep, because I have a special scent.

I dragged myself out of my beautiful and soft bed, and looked in my mirror. I looked just like any normal girl, except that I had an hourglass figure, silver hair that had gold and black areas, and my eyes change colour. Also, I had a talent in singing and charming everyone with my voice. My skin was flawless and creamy pale, I wondered why no one had taken it for mushroom soup and tried to drink my skin.

But yeah, I was still a normal girl, no matter how I look at it. Because having an hourglass figure was totally, like totally common. Natural silver hair with gold and black totally is normal as well, and eyes that change colour is totally not Mary-Sue-ish.

I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Mary Sue Opal Emeraldia Capricorn Cat Enchantment Da Forth Princess Totally Awesome Motha' Fuckin Mary Sue Because Iam Soo Farking Awesome Emerald Diamond Onyx Seraphina Nicole Damn Dat Niem Iz Dam Lung.

My best friend ever, Vely Belazina, (I call her Vely BZ), called me at like eight AM because that's totally acceptable to call someone that early in the morning.

"Mary! Follow me to my karate practice!" She screamed into the phone because all best friends always scream in the morning over the phone, all the time.

"Insert Male Names here keeps following me around. All of them! The other time, I went to your karate practice, they were like... chasing after me all the time! But your teacher, MS's Bitch, allows it because it's fine for someone to interrupt her lesson!" I replied.

So, like what every normal best friend would do, she went over at my house (because people are not lazy) and pulled me off with her.