Because that's totally true! (A parody of everything) (On hold)

Chapter 7) I've met the one!

So, I was on my way to math class with my pet wolf which wasn't mentioned in the first chapter. Of course, pets aren't allowed, but the school made an exception for me. That's so freaking awesome! And of course, expected. I'm very important. I also have a pet wolf, of all animals. Don't ask how I got it.

Actually, please ask. I was hiking in the mountain with my twenty seven brothers, and all of them got lost. I was sensible enough to stay on the map. So, I dragged my first brother back from the edge of the Great Wall of China. On his finger, is a ring. He told me to take the ring, and he went home.

My second brother? I found him in the past, waging war against Chandragupta in India. I grabbed him and told him not to. He had a gemstone, which he told me to take. I threw him back to the present. Then, I went to an imaginary world, where it looks awesome and there's nature worshipping freaks, who was going to sacrifice my third brother to the Tree God.

Being awesome, I saved him. He gave me a feather. I returned him into the real world. My forth brother was going to be eaten by a titan, so I saved him and other people from the anime world. He gave me several magical rhinestones.

My fifth brother was going to eat an elephant. I went over and told him the consequences of eating an elephant. He gave me an elephant tooth, ate it and died. Upon dying. my other brothers came back to the present. I combined the items they gave, and got a magical unicorn and a legendary dragon.

The magical unicorn and legendary dragon told me to unlock the secret room, and I found a dying wolf and her pups. I told the wolf not to worry, that I would take care of her children. So, that wolf I was bring to school is one of her pups. Three others are at home, along with the unicorn and dragon.

I know, so awesome! I love myself!

In school, as usual, I learnt absolutely nothing. I knew everything! By that, I mean everything. The stuff they teach there is so easy, the whole thing is a joke!

The only reason I came to school was to ogle the hottest boy in the world, Jake Mchot.

Such an uncommon name, I know!

He's so awfully broody, I wondered what was wrong. The others seem to respect or fear him. Of course, I could see his six-pack through his shirt, despite that being nearly impossible unless you were concentrating really hard. That's how hot he was. Also, have you seen that blonde messy hair and blue eyes? And look at the leather jacket! How shiny could it be?

He was second to me in academics and sports too! I've met the one!

As the bell rang, I walked over to him, swinging my hips sexily. I took a seat sexily next to him. "Hi!" I sexily said sexily, sexily.

He grimaced, then retorted, "what can I do for you?"

Despite his cold tone, I could see a pink blush creeping across his cheeks. I giggled sexily. Oh damn, big, tough, Jake, is blushing.

Ahh, he's obviously in love with me! What else could it be?

"I have something I want to tell you, Mary. It's of course, my angsty and sad past that was inserted for sympathy points and is completely irrelevant to the plot whatsoever." A sad look took over his neutral expression.

I nodded, leaning in to look interested. See, I know how to do psychology. I could probably become a counselor if I wanted to! However, it's too boring a job for me, so I chose to be the Keeper of Unicorns and Collector of Useless Mythical Creatures.

"When I was young, my parents said one day, that they were going out. They died in a car accident, which is the only way to leave things without an explanation with a legit reason. I was an orphan. A couple adopted me, and abused the shit out of me despite how well behaved I was, because that made perfect sense. When I escaped, I made twenty two hundred new friends, which I've grown close to. They all died in an explosion from a leak from a factory. I'm the last of them," he said glumly.

"Oh no, that's terrible! Why does everyone you love always die?" I gasped, pressing a dainty hand to my sexy mouth. "Never fear, I will never leave you! Ever!"

He looked into my orbs with his orbs, with orbs floating around the area, tiny orbs floating around the orbs floating around the area. It's such a common word to describe eyes... Orbs, orbs, orbs. I leaned in to give him a peck on a cheek just as he begun tilting his head. I stared into his orby orbs and he stared into my orbier orb.

Oh, naughty, naughty me! Tsk, Mary, you've outdone yourself yet again!

Some of the girls saw that, and they begun crying.

"Oh Mary, we're jealous, but we wish you the best of luck and hope your relationship with Jake McHot goes well!"

The rest were just jealous! I know it's impossible for girls other than me to be capable of feeling anything except for envy and admiration!