Well, I swear that this is my honest option in your book and I don't believe in unnecessary burning so, erm, you're safe. Also if your book is based on any kind of show...please do tell me as I am not really a tv kind of person
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Name: Hidden Behind the Mask Author: Hellyeahghost Genre: Teen Fiction
Main character: Carter Williams
The Supers: Carter Williams West (Carter's crush) Techstroke(super of controlling technology,X-ray vision and super hearing) Electro (Techstroke's partner in the past but is now working for the dark weather) Static (Lasers,heat rays and manipulates electricity and has ability to fly) April (Able to walk through things) Kian Lawley
Other characters (I'm random here): Tayler (Carter's best friend in old sch) Grayson (Carter's other good friend on old sch) Cameron (The smarty pants) Alex ( A dude that has 60% chance if being a super Officer Kurt (Person that informs Carter about her blood transfusion) Mr Dunn(super studies teacher) Mr Strong (Carter's teacher at Kent)
~SUMMARY~
Okay so its about a group of superheroes called Supers.They have superpowers and is constantly on the lookout to save the world and...yeah any ordinary thing that superheroes do.They are greatly admired by everyone (expect for Carter the main character,ironically) and one day,Carter realised that she is a super because of a mutant gene in one of her blood transfusions years before. She then attends Kent High School of supers once she was an official super.There, in Kent High,romance brews as she meets her long time crush,West. However another super, Static has eyes for Carter too.So its competition of who gets the girl after Chapter 11.
#shipCarterandWest OR #shipCarterandStatic
Votes taken here!Comment your take after reading!For me I like Carter and Static.Heh. But please vote your own opinion ;)
~ COVER PAGE ~ Okay here's the fun part. If you judge it on how aesthetic it looks...well yeah.But actually, the more you look at it...the prettier it looks.Weird but true.I actually screenshotted this cover. I would say next time choose a elegant take on the cover as not everyone likes the same thing as this cover is on the edgy side,but overall in my opinion at least,the book looks really fun and adventurous and would be something I would click open to read so, it works.Yay you.
Cover page score: 7/10
=NOTE= l would like to make a disclaimer that everyone's taste varies (I mean that's what abstract art has proven right?!).So if my take is not exactly what you think...*sighs* HERE'S YOUR EXPLANATION.
-THE CHAPTERS- I'll be very very honest here that the first paragraph I read was not exactly the best. I mean...the grammar and the style (seagull flying in the sky..SPEAKING OF WHICH.How do you mistake a seagull for a super?Seagulls are white and small...and supers wear red coats and are at least 63 times bigger...logic gap). I would also suggest that you either write everything in present tense or past tense next time as at first, everything had no 'ed' then later there was an 'ed', which was a little confusing. Do note that "to far to identify" is wrong and its actually "TOO far to identify" as that was quite a pity that it was in the first paragraph as any reader would have mistaken you as a not so good writer cause if the many mistakes in the first paragraph...when in reality you actually deserve more than that! :( However as the story got on,the momentum clicked in.Everything flowed well...spelling and punctuation and grammar mistakes here and there but ah well...I'll overlook that as I'm used to it. Okay then we come to the part we meet West.Well...I would like more on how he looked honestly..like dedicate a paragraph to it as he is one of the main protagonist here.But the short description was okay...but I'll only know he was cute,handsome and your crush and that's not really detailed. I liked the part where you explained why Carter was a super though.It was better than I expected.Damn I hated all those lame Cartoons like Winx Club where the dad or mom will be like "Chlid,I've been keeping a secret from you all these years...*proceeds with telling him or her that she is a super*" then gives a not feasible explanation to the crap. Yours was different though.It explained the mutant gene and the blood transfusion.It was downright interesting!:D It was one of my favourite chapters as I thought that it was plausible thus,fills in the logic section of the book. The rest of the chapters I would describe it in general. Well, everything had the same style of writing so it flowed and made sense and I liked how you introduced the characters (Like Techstroke thru a lesson, Static thru Wiki...)it flowed and it was certainly better than sudden, abrupt introductions I read in other books
=My Comments= Basically what my whole paragraph here is saying that 1)You are undoubtedly creative
2)The book has logic
3) However your Language part has a bit of issues and in today's society, many people's pet peeve is that they can't stand blatantly incorrect grammar, so work on that for better stories.(Note Capital letters for Names)
4)You need to dedicate more paragraphs on description (like on how West was like,How the Kent School looked...)
5)If possible,try editing your first few paragraphs as they are a little off tracks and first paragraphs are VITAL in attracting readers.And if your Language or dialogues are not quite there...try editing
=WOULD I RECOMMEND YOUR BOOK= Well...
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Yes. But I'll do it only for a leisure read as it needs a little touch up.But in general, YES.Yes, I would.
A little advice is that after you write a chapter, you read it first so that you can spot errors and also,read your comments!Readers will point stuff out so that you can improve ;)
NOW FOR THE MARKSSSS
I'll give you a
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7/10 !!! SURPRISE! Here's the two Categories
Language: 3/5 Content: 4/5
Hope you found this useful to you Hellyeahghost and to the rest of you, if you've read the book, what's YOUR take on it?
If you want your book to be featured next time please comment here!Thanks and have a great week!
