DEMONOPHOBIA ACT 1 @daedra_does_things

23 11 16
                                    

Title:DemonophobiaAuthor: daedra_does_thingsGenre: Mystery/Thriller

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Title:Demonophobia
Author: daedra_does_things
Genre: Mystery/Thriller

Main Characters: Tynit Atticus and Xeana Marin

Other Characters:
Trevor (Tynit's accomplice in crime)
Feather (supposedly definition of an angel)
William Valenti (dies cause he was murdered in the dark by Tynit)
Mr.Carson( guy that Trynit plans to kill next)
Dale Forges (person who is in charge of investigating William Valenti's case)
MK-0E aka Ellie (annoying person that help's Xeana receive information of the case)

Summary of story:

Okay, it is firstly that it is the 22nd century.
There are both demons and humans living on earth.
Demons are widely accepted on earth except for in the capital called Central.
Tynit is the Antagonist of the story that wants to kill demons and Xeana is part of the police team that helps solve the crime cases.

Cover page:
Ehhhhh the colour palet here is basically black.But WAYYYY too black.
Okay,I am a fan of black too but personally in this case, I feel that it is a bit too dark that the nice details of the picture is VERY blurry.Maybe you can use some kinda app and make it brighter or more defined.
Overall,(putting aside squinting to look at the cover) I say that it looks okay.Not fantastic that I'll rate the cover 10/10 but yeah.

MARKS FOR COVER
6/10
Just brighten it so that it will look better.It will cause your book to be more attention capturing.

Your chapters:
Personally I thought they were well thought though, the story makes sense and flows, chronological events are right.
The first chapter was very entertaining and I was inclined to read on.
I like how you vividly describe everything so consistently.I think that it was very rational how you described everything, it wasn't spreaded too thick.However I found that chapters 1 to 3 was a really good then suddenly chapter 4 it was not so engaging anymore...I'm not sure if you were going too fast and just briefly explained everything too much and thus was short and content was insufficient but yeah.Try review back and if possible, make the chapter longer with explanation of What's happening or add in details.

Interesting ideas:

Hmmm I really like it that the character you started off with is an antagonist.Its new and will successfully capture people'S attention.
Also,I like the way Tynit Killed Mr William.It was quite professional and logical.At least it was well thought through.Unlike some other books *coughs* theirs were really cringy.

My overall comments:
1) Wow, Tynit has a lot of skillZ. He's 14 ONLY and he's already killing so many people.I'm glad this book is fictional.
2)I like your writing but I think you're getting a little off track after chapter 3 so do more editing.
3)Your cover page is way too dark for my taste.I know it's supposed to be morbid but this is a bit overkill.

Grammar and language skills wise,its REALLY good!Yay!It really frustrates me when people can't use proper English.

So, WOULD I RECOMMEND YOUR BOOK?

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Yeah, sure.AFTER you edit chapters 4-8 and brighten your cover page first though.

AND THUS YOUR MARKS IS....

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7.5/10!
Content: 3.5/5
Language:4/5

Yay!You're still considered the top few books!

Honestly I think your book is underrated.Try advertising more!It deserves to be read and voted for.

Okay for you guys that read Demonophobia Act 1, what's YOUR take on it?
Comment below and votes are very much appreciated :)

Have a great week @daedra_does_things and everyone else!

Yours,
Alatalyst

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