The General and the Princess

Chapter 33 || Kiva

The morning brought the colors of the sunrise as they continued their adventure along the northern border of Lavri. Riyel's confession, while shocking, brought a balance between the two of them. She could not help but smile when he looked at her with the understanding she had always craved but never found until him. The days were long and wearisome, but the peace between the two of them and the lack of interference from the outside lent itself to tranquility.

Several days had passed and Kiva began to regard the growth between Raul and Trysti with more interest. Trysti seemed unaware of the change in Raul's attention or even the transformation in herself as she interacted with him. Raul reminded Kiva of a gardener nurturing a plant to light. He was cautious, intentional, nurturing, and kind as he spent nearly every moment by her side. Kiva had not approached her friend with this revelation but chose instead to watch it come to fruition by itself. Kiva knew of Trysti's delicate heart; she was the loving sort, and Inver's disregard had given her cheerful heart an uncharacteristic bitterness. Under Kiva's watchful eye, Raul's maturity and wisdom inspired her admiration and she wondered if he was indeed deserving of dear Trysti. With the hope blooming within her, Kiva could not help but wish that her one and only dear friend would find the greatest hope in the world.

Each night, they gathered around either a campfire in the open or a dark table in some dingy garrison, eating whatever repast they could garner or receive from their hosts. And each night, after Tal wandered off to examine his book with quill and ink and Raul and Trysti spoke by the fire, Riyel and Kiva would wander off and sit together. They began to know each other, a process which can take a lifetime but seemed superlatively easy between them.

The wind whispered through the trees like a lullaby, and Kiva leaned against Riyel. It was growing easier to be close to him. Strength emanated from his soul, shown in the way he carried himself: strong, confident, powerful.

"I'm sorry," his voice was lower than the babbling of a nearby brook.

Kiva tilted her head to look at him. "What? You've done nothing."

"I'm afraid I can't be what you need." His voice faltered for a moment as Kiva appraised his sudden and unexpected lack of assurance.

"What do you mean?"

"What if I can't always protect you from yourself, and from others, and from..." His voice stopped again, and Kiva sat up, staring straight into his eyes.

"From what? What are you trying to say?"

"What if I can't protect you from myself?"

Riyel struggled to meet her eyes, and when he finally did, the torture in his eyes scared her. Kiva found his hand and intertwined her fingers with his, not daring to look away or feel the fear that constantly threatened.

"You would never hurt me."

But as soon as she said the words, she recognized the untruth. The trust she had given him was already bearing on her soul; he could break her. He was perhaps the only person who could utterly destroy her, body and soul.

"Kiva, remember when I almost killed Rubyn because he harassed you? I would have killed him. I would have choked him to death and left his body for the wolves. If you hadn't stopped me, I would have killed him." Riyel's frame was tense, rippling with energy.

Kiva squeezed his hand in hers and looked him straight in the eyes. "But I stopped you, and it was alright. Riyel, you would never hurt me."

He looked aghast at the thought. "But how can I protect you if I can't even control myself? I get so angry, I go out of control. I can't control myself."