The General and the Princess

Chapter 45 || Kiva

As Riyel and Kiva returned to her home after spending the evening in Inver's tent, Riyel held tightly to her hand as if he could keep her beside him with his touch. They walked to the foot of the ladder, and Kiva paused, studying her feet. She drew in a deep breath, forcing herself to be honest with Riyel as she had promised herself she would be.

    "Justyn's gone."

    "What?"

    "Wyn...Wyn ran away a week ago, and Justyn went after her last night. He deserted. He deserted the Resistance, and...he left."

    Kiva had nothing to say or to feel. All the emotions had been squeezed out of her in the death and the anger and the hatred and the joy and the love. Everything was mottled inside of her, and she did not know whether to feel anger and hatred towards her brother or to jump on the nearest horse and go after him.

    Riyel said nothing but stared into her eyes as if he were reading everything she could not say. The day had been heavy and words failed to carry its weight. Today, she had killed for the first time. She had defended the Resistance from attack. She had lost her brother. She had confessed that she loved Riyel. She had forgiven Inver.

Her legs struggling to support her, Kiva sunk to the ground against the tree, and leaned against it. Riyel touched her arm, his eyes assessing her face, and then he ran a few yards away to fetch a canteen and a spare cloth. He wiped the dirt and blood from her face and her arms and Kiva let him work, not sure what to say or do.

    "Wounds?" he asked as if he knew that healing her outer wounds would somehow soothe the ones inside as well.
   
Kiva pulled her shirtsleeve up, allowing him to cleanse a laceration on her shoulder. Once he had finished cleaning her wounds, she took the cloth and offered to return the favor. He looked at her once, his eyes a tad uncertain. However, he turned his back to her and gently pulled his shirt over his head, revealing a shallow wound that stretched from his left shoulder to his right side.

    His back had other wounds, other scars. She traced each scar along his back and he tensed under her touch, muscles rippling down the length and breadth of it. With her fingertips, she studied the broadness and strength of his shoulders, and reveled in the way her fingers tingled all the way up her arm when she touched him. Kiva looked to his eyes, and they were both aware of the power they had over each other. There was a vulnerability in skin touching skin, and even as she cleaned the wound gently with the cloth, wincing herself each time he shuddered under her touch, she could sense their trust in each other. There was no return from how they felt.

Once their wounds had been cleaned, they sat together at the foot of Kiva's large tree. Somehow, she could not bring herself to climb the ladder to the empty house—not when she felt safe just sitting next to Riyel.

    "Remember..." Kiva cleared her throat and continued, "Remember how you...you held me during the nights on the trail? Can you...is it wrong, to do that here?"

    Kiva knew that unmarried men and women could not share a bed, and so she knew better than to welcome him into her home or under her blanket. But she also knew she could trust him. He would never touch her like that, not with what he knew. And she needed him.

    Riyel said nothing in response to her question but shifted so she could rest against his chest as they leaned against the tree. His heartbeat sounded in her ear, and the steady beat soothed her.

    Kiva turned and sat up, looking directly into his eyes. For a moment, she was lost there. His eyes were so green that the forest lost its color in comparison. But there was a bit of fear there, and a bit of crazed passion.

    "Do you need me...do you need me as much as I need you?" She knew her question was out of insecurity, but she needed to know.

    Riyel gathered one raspy breath and said, "I don't know how or why...but it's hard to breathe away from you. I think we've crossed a line, and...I don't think we can return now. By the stars, Kiva, I need you. I will never stop needing you."