One-shoty

I no longer exist...

Those few months after his death were horrible. There was that one picture in my head. I tried to forget but it seemed to be impossible. Those featuers clear and strong in my mind. I could feel the pain that was connected to those memories. His voice, always so real, those screams -over and over.  I'm better now-at least that's what I'm telling everyone.
That was a long time ago...his death left me broken but I'm healed now-at least that's what I'm telling myself...how stupid of me...
Ya know what? If you ever meet me, don't ask me "how are you?" I will always tell you "I'm fine" Never believe me then. To tell the truth-it would be better for you to never meet me at all. I remember him saying, (always joking) that I will be his doom-and here I am. Without him...

Anyway-you want to know the truth? Really, I don't think so, but if you ask...

In real-I'm this black-clothed girl with mad, empty eyes. In real I wake up with this big hangover and head full of drunk memories-easily replecable with the new one...
I find myself thinking-that all of this-my lost life may by his venegance. But those stupid thoughts quickly dissapear with the next drop of...
My hands are full of crimson blood...whose?
Mine- of course you dummy!
In fact I think I may be dying...slowly but still...

Oh and  there was that fading hope that soon I would wake up from that nightmare... Oh sweety, this ship had taken off such a long time ago. Now... You ask me "what is real?"
I will tell you.
Yes I promise you to tell you only the truth.
And here it is. The truth is...that I no longer exist.