Stay

7

It's been 2 weeks since Blake and I split - and I would be lying if I said that everything is okay. Truth is, it hurts. It hurts knowing that the man you love, chose someone else. And I'm not really sure when I will 100 percent get over it. Every day I work on it. Some days are easier than others. Some days I sit on my couch with Sasha and a huge carton of Cotton Candy ice cream bawling my eyes out to old Boy Meets World reruns. I find I'm especially vulnerable at those times when I'm alone and I know that he would have been with me. 

But I refuse to give in. Sure, I have seen his phone number pop up every couple of days, but I don't answer it. I won't answer it. He had his chance and he blew it. I refuse to be the other woman any longer. I won't ever do that to myself again. I deserve better and I will find better. Blake isn't my better. 

My dad has been really helpful. The weekend after the breakup, he took me fishing on his boat. It was a huge step in the right direction for our relationship. We talked about everything and worked through things that we both needed to. And most importantly, we bonded. It felt amazing to know that I still had a family member in this world. 

And with my Dad's encouragement, I made a change for myself. I cut 12 inches of my hair and lightened it a little more. It's now a balayaged, shoulder-length bob and I absolutely adore it. It was a welcomed change - a needed change. 

Plus, I started my new job at my father's company. It was a huge change from Blake's company. I was thrown into my own projects that I had to do entirely on my own. It was a challenge, but I loved it. It didn't leave me bored and I was constantly on the run. I couldn't be happier and I owed my Dad a lot. 

He was there from me every single day these past 2 weeks. Sometimes it was just a phone call, sometimes it was during lunch break. Whenever it was that I needed somebody, he was there. If I needed a shoulder to cry on, he was there. When I needed to vent out my frustrations, he was there. Most importantly, when I needed advice, he was the one to give it to me. And I am so thankful. Without him, I don't know where I would be right now. Probably desperately searching for some minimum wage job to get me by, bawling my eyes out everyday. 

In those 2 weeks though, I missed something dearly. I missed my friends. I wanted to wait a little while before I went to them. I wanted to, I don't know, try and make myself okay on my own first? I'm not even sure if that makes sense. So, I worked on myself first. 

I spent a lot of my alone time, writing. I figured it was the best way for me to get all my thoughts and emotions out there, and it worked. The rest of the time, I relished in my freedom. I enjoyed it. It felt like this huge weight was taken off of my shoulders when Blake stepped out of that door. I felt good. 

But I knew that eventually I would have to see Alex and Melanie. So with my father's encouragement, I find myself in front of Melanie's door right now. I'm trying desperately to think of exactly what I need to say to fix all this, but I'm at a loss for words. 

Instead, I'm standing here, like an idiot, too scared to knock on the fucken door. 

I groan to myself. "Come on, Claire. You can do this. She is your best friend.

"Just step up to that door and knock on it. You can do it!" I mutter to myself, Shia LaBeouf's words ringing through my head. 

Just as I'm about to knock, the door swings open. Ian, the guy Melanie was pining over, is standing in the doorway.

"Oh wow, Claire. How the hell are ya?" Ian says when his eyes land on me.

I chuckle. "I'm good, how the hell are you? I'm assuming pretty good, eh?" I smirk. 

He grins. "Really fucken good. It's good to see you. Melanie misses you. I was just heading out though, so I'll talk to you later. I'm sure I will hear all about it." He jokes before pushing past me.