Tags, my life, and other stuff

Anxiety. Yay.

Hey. How's your day going? Tell me in the comments.

So it's been a little while since I've written anything because I've been pretty busy with upward bound.

So the first official day of upward bound was tuesday. I have 3 classes a day. Then lunch and after that I have an enrichment class that teaches me how to finance find the right college, and do taxes..,ECT. Its really helping my anxiety but because of it I had to quit art camp.

Anyway, the real reason I'm here is to talk about the people there. So here's the people in my classes(there's not alot)
Alecia(freshman like me)
Korey(freshman like me)
Dwain(sophmore)
Oscar(sophmore)
Herald(junior)
Cristopher(senior)
And the rest of the people I don't really talk to. One sec I'm gonna finish this tommorow my friend is texting me.

I'm back on saturday. And anyway, So me and Oscar have become friends and he's really cool and non-jugdemental. He's easy to talk to and I think we've gotten to know each other alot. Alecia has always been linof rude to me but she has been a bit nicer so I haven't minded her. And Korey. I thought he was really non-jugdemental and nice but I guess not.

So on Friday we went to Roosevelt university for a tour and on the train home I was doing some Tbhs on Snapchat and the one guy was just making fun of me for it and making me feel stupid for it and then Korey who I thought was a nice non-jugdemental guy was like 'why are they so long? That's kinda dumb. Not everyone wants to read a paragraph on snapchat.' and then Alecia, korey, swain, and Cristopher started laughing at me and I don't think any of them realize I sit for a straight up minute thinking 'should I post this? Is it stupid? Are people gonna judge me? Do I look ugly?' and then feel anxiety for a good hour after I post it and I was finally feeling like 'hey nobody really jugdes on snapchat everyone does their own thing and it'll be fine no one cares.' and it annoys me so bad that that bothers me just because they laughed at me and judged me for nothing and I shouldn't care and I don't want to care. I wish I could just not care like I let everyone on to believe. I just felt so stupid and useless. And I'm just so done with people judging me for being weird. The only reason I tried to socialize with these people was because I didn't want to go back to being that weird emo quiet girl with her ear buds in. I didn't want to be lonely but I'm not going to pretend to be like that just for friends.

Well that was yesterday. My current situation really isn't much better but I'm gonna tell you about that in the next chapter.

Have a wonderful day. Luv u guys. Bye.
~Love, Elena