вaвyвoy • e.d (✔)

sixty three

[24.6.17] - 11.49 a.m

Addie,

Hey it's Ethan here. Um. I'm not really sure what to say. I guess I'll start off with, I read your letters. I spent hours and hours reading every single one. No details left out.

Addie I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for fucking up your life. I'm sorry for letting you down. I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me. I'm sorry for walking out on you and the rest of the world. I'm sorry for never explaining anything. I'm sorry.

But I don't expect you to forgive me. I understand if you don't. I don't want forgiveness. I just want you to know how much I care about you and how much I miss you.

Yes, there are reasons I left. There are also many reasons I could've stayed but I gave up. I gave on life. I lost all hope that I'd have a good future. I lost all hope that anyone would ever love me yet you were right there the entire time.

I should've just talked to you. I should've considered your feelings. Leaving you, my family, and everyone else is definitely my biggest regret in life but there's no point in sitting here feeling bad for myself when I'm the one that made the choice.

My life has been hell without you and the rest of the people that truly care about me.

Why did I go? I don't even know anymore. I thought leaving would make things better. I thought I could start a new life for myself hidden under this mask no one knew about.

I killed Grayson. I killed my own best friend and I didn't even know until I read your letters. No matter how much I try to deny it, I killed my own twin brother. I can't even live with myself anymore.

I want to come back belive me and I am coming back but it's a matter of time and construction.

Believe me when I say that I love you Addie.

I miss you babygirl. I'll be back soon.

Sincerely, Ethan.