Shock [BTS X Reader]

Chapter 15: What Could Have Been

*DISCLAIMER* Don't read if you're sensitive to intense and heavy topics, thanks!

Jungkook rests his head atop of my hand before standing up and leaving.

Jesus Christ why would he say such a thing? He knows that he means so much to me, what's gotten into him?

As much as I tried to dry my eyes, nothing could stop my tears.

Maybe some air could help. Screw this bed, I'm walking by myself.

As much as my knees screamed otherwise, I flop onto my gelatinous feet and wobble towards the door.

I spot a hospital map, and locate the rooftop stairway.

Perfect.

I look around the corner to make sure that any nurses can see me, and limp as fast as I can to the staircase.

It's already hard enough to climb up the stairs without being blinded by tears.

After about 8 flights of steps, the exit finally greets me. I eagerly push it open and walk across the rooftop.

The twenty story hospital shows an amazing view of the cloudy Japanese city.

Wind almost blows my hospital gown off, revealing my bare body.

Which reminds me, where are my clothes?

My thought bubble pops when I hear footsteps.

Oh God I hope it's not a nurse...

I follow the sounds of the footsteps and the figure stands feet away, dangerously close to the edge.

"Hey! What are you doing?!" I yell to the person.

The person climbs onto the ledge.

"Stop!"

The person turns around to face me.

Jungkook clutches his fists and sighs.

"All I've ever done for you is become the demon on your shoulder. I can't do this to you anymore (y/n), I love you way too much to see you in this much pain. This is the decision I'm making to end your suffering, so don't bother to stop me."

He turns his back to me, and looks at the 20 stories below him.

One foot hovers over the edge.

My knees buckle, slowing my sprint towards him.

His other foot leaves the edge, and his body starts to descend.

At the last second, my hand was able to wrap under his right arm.

Jungkook looks up to me, his eyes start to fill with fear.

I was so weak to begin with, how am I supposed to help him back up?

I almost lose my balance and fall over the edge in my attempt to pull him to safety.

My teeth clench as tears trail down my arm and onto his.

In a flash, memories flow through my vision.

The first time Jungkook and I met.

The time Jungkook got stuck in a tree and my Mom had to help him down.

When Jungkook and I both tried sushi for the first time, and him almost throwing up because of it.

Then the time Jungkook and I were playing with figurines when my Father received the dreaded call from the hospital to claim my Mother's death.

He held me so close while I cried softly, I didn't understand what was happening.

How could I forget?

My trance washes away, and my hand almost slips from underneath Jungkook's arm.

All of the sudden, I feel that I have all of the strength in the world.

I plant my feet firmly on the ground, and reach my other hand under his left arm.

I use the little muscle I had and lifted him slowly.

He immediately climbs back onto the rooftop, completely out of air.

My body collapses onto the concrete.

"Jungkook... I... I... just remembered... everything, I'm so... sorry..." I wheeze.

Jungkook rests on his knees next to me.

"Don't be sorry. I owe you everything. As much trouble as I have already caused you, you still saved my life. I could have just ended all of your worries an-"

"Why the hell did you think that was a good idea?!" I cut him off, now on my hands and knees.

"I could have been at peace with myself, knowing that I can't do anything else wrong." Jungkook breathing steadies.

"You should know that you saved my life first. I know that it was a long time ago, but if you still remember the day when my Mother passed, you were all I had. My Father never talked to me about the passing. He acted like it never happened. If you weren't there, I don't know what would've happened. I'm so stupid for not remembering you, it's all my fault." I say, tears pouring all over my hospital gown.

Jungkook lifts me onto my feet and hugs me tightly.

"I want to be the one to fix all of this again, I really do. However, I need to recollect myself again." He rests his chin on my head.

I silently sob onto his chest, just like when I received the news of my Mother's passing.

Jungkook gently lifts my chin up with his hand so our eyes meet.

"Can you trust me?" Jungkook whispers.

Before I knew it, his lips were on mine.

I stand motionless, giving into the moment.

Wind blows through my knotted hair as his hands rest on my cheeks, pulling me closer.

"More than anything." I croak after we disconnect.

Jungkook looks me in the eyes and picks me up. He assists me down the stairs again and back into my hospital room.

"Please take it easy, I don't think that new blood should be settled yet." Jungkook helps me back into the bed.

"Stay safe for me Kookie." I whisper as my eyes become heavy.

He half smiles and puts his hands in his pockets.

"I will." He grins and leaves the room.

I doze off to sleep in an instant.

*

A few hours later, Yoongi stands in the doorway with a pile of clothes.

"These are yours (y/n). The nice people here washed the blood out of them for you."

I weakly smile and rub my eyes.

"Thank you Yoongs."

"Oh, I almost forgot, you're allowed to leave now. The nurses informed me that the blood should be mixed well now, but you can stay if you still feel ill." Yoongi adds.

"Do you think I could leave now? I'm very sick of this place."

"Of course, just get changed and I'll bring you back to the hotel."

I nod and he leaves the room.

I eagerly throw my clothes on and happily follow Yoongi out of the bland building.

Dread still follows me, however.

It's a lot to handle when you're the one who caused someone to want to take their own life.