11 pineapples for The Unicorn and the Wasp...
******
Doctor: I'm the Doctor. And this is Miss Donna Noble. Of the Chiswick Nobles.
Donna: Good afternoon, my Lady. Topping day, wot? Spiffing! Top ho!
Doctor: No no, no no. Don't do that. Don't.
******
Doctor: A unicorn? Brilliant. Where?
Lady Eddison: The Unicorn. The jewel thief. And nobody knows who he is. He's just struck again, snatched Lady Babbington's pearls right from under her nose.
Donna: Funny place to wear pearls.
******
Roger Curbishley: All these young boys deserve a decent thrashing!
Davenport: Couldn't agree more, sir.
Donna: Typical. All the decent men are on the other bus.
Doctor: Or Time Lord.
******
Donna: But, the body in the library? I mean, Professor Peach in the library with a lead pipe.
******
Agatha: Someone should call the police.
Doctor: We don't have to. Chief Inspector Smith from Scotland Yard. Known as The Doctor. Miss Noble is the plucky young girl that helps me out.
******
Donna: "The plucky young girl who helps me out."
Doctor: No policewomen in 1926.
Donna: I'll pluck you in a minute.
******
Donna: Yeah, but think about it. There's a murder, a mystery and Agatha Christie.
Doctor: So? Happens to me all the time.
Donna: No. But isn't that a bit weird? Agatha Christie didn't walk around surrounded by murders. Not really. I mean that's like meeting Charles Dickens and he's surrounded by ghosts. At Christmas.
Doctor: Well...
******
Donna: There is a giant wasp!
Doctor: What do you mean a giant wasp?
Donna: I mean a wasp, that's giant!
Agatha: It's only a silly little insect.
Donna: When I say giant, I don't mean big, I mean flipping enormous!
******
Donna: I can't understand you! How many words?
[the Doctor holds up one finger]
Donna: One! One word! Shake, milk-shake, milk! Milk! No? Not milk! Um, shake, shake, shake! Cocktail shake! What, d'you want a Harvey Wallbanger?
Doctor: Harvey Wallbanger?
Donna: Well, I don't know!
Doctor: How is Harvey Wallbanger one word?
Agatha: What do you need Doctor?
Doctor: Salt! I was miming salt! I need salt! I need something salty!
[Donna grabs a bag from the counter]
Donna: What about this?
Doctor: What is it?
Donna: Salt!
Doctor: That's too salty!
Donna: Oh, that's too salty!
Agatha: What about this?
[Agatha hands the Doctor a jar and he upends it, eating the food]
Donna: What's that?
Agatha: Anchovies.
Donna: [to the Doctor] What is it? What else?
[the Doctor jolts his hands out, miming a shock]
Donna: Um, it's a song! 'Mammy'? Um, I don't know! 'Camptown Races'?
Doctor: 'Camptown Races'?
Donna: Well! All right, then! 'Towering Inferno'!
Doctor: It's a shock! Look, shock! I need a shock!
Donna: Right then. Big shock. Coming up.
(Donna kisses him and the Doctor exhales the poison)
Doctor: Detox. Oh! I must do that more often...I mean the, the detox.
******
Agatha: You make a rather unusual couple.
Doctor and Donna: Oh, no no no no, we're not married.
******
Agatha: The secret adversary remains hidden. We must look for a motive. Use "ze little grey cells."
Doctor: Oh yes. "Little grey cells." Good 'ol Poirot. You know, I've been to Belgium. Yeah. I remember. I was deep in the Ardennes, trying to find Charlemagne. He'd been kidnapped by an insane computer...
Agatha: Doctor, Doctor.
Doctor: Sorry.
Agatha: Charlemagne lived centuries ago.
Doctor: I've got a good memory.
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Doctor Who Quotes 2
RandomMore quotes from Doctor Who (in case the title was unclear). All rights to the BBC.