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11 pineapples for The Unicorn and the Wasp...

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Doctor: I'm the Doctor. And this is Miss Donna Noble. Of the Chiswick Nobles.

Donna: Good afternoon, my Lady. Topping day, wot? Spiffing! Top ho!     

Doctor: No no, no no. Don't do that. Don't.

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Doctor: A unicorn? Brilliant. Where?

Lady Eddison: The Unicorn. The jewel thief. And nobody knows who he is. He's just struck again, snatched Lady Babbington's pearls right from under her nose.

Donna: Funny place to wear pearls.

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Roger Curbishley: All these young boys deserve a decent thrashing!

Davenport: Couldn't agree more, sir.

Donna: Typical. All the decent men are on the other bus.     

Doctor: Or Time Lord.

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Donna: But, the body in the library? I mean, Professor Peach in the library with a lead pipe.

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Agatha: Someone should call the police.     

Doctor: We don't have to. Chief Inspector Smith from Scotland Yard. Known as The Doctor. Miss Noble is the plucky young girl that helps me out.

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Donna: "The plucky young girl who helps me out."

Doctor: No policewomen in 1926.

Donna: I'll pluck you in a minute.

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Donna: Yeah, but think about it. There's a murder, a mystery and Agatha Christie.     

Doctor: So? Happens to me all the time.

Donna: No. But isn't that a bit weird? Agatha Christie didn't walk around surrounded by murders. Not really. I mean that's like meeting Charles Dickens and he's surrounded by ghosts. At Christmas.     

Doctor: Well...

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Donna: There is a giant wasp!

Doctor: What do you mean a giant wasp?

Donna: I mean a wasp, that's giant!

Agatha: It's only a silly little insect.

Donna: When I say giant, I don't mean big, I mean flipping enormous!

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Donna: I can't understand you! How many words?

[the Doctor holds up one finger]

Donna: One! One word! Shake, milk-shake, milk! Milk! No? Not milk! Um, shake, shake, shake! Cocktail shake! What, d'you want a Harvey Wallbanger?

Doctor: Harvey Wallbanger?

Donna: Well, I don't know!

Doctor: How is Harvey Wallbanger one word?

Agatha: What do you need Doctor?

Doctor: Salt! I was miming salt! I need salt! I need something salty!

[Donna grabs a bag from the counter]

Donna: What about this?

Doctor: What is it?

Donna: Salt!

Doctor: That's too salty!

Donna: Oh, that's too salty!

Agatha: What about this?

[Agatha hands the Doctor a jar and he upends it, eating the food]

Donna: What's that?

Agatha: Anchovies.

Donna: [to the Doctor] What is it? What else?

[the Doctor jolts his hands out, miming a shock]

Donna: Um, it's a song! 'Mammy'? Um, I don't know! 'Camptown Races'?

Doctor: 'Camptown Races'?

Donna: Well! All right, then! 'Towering Inferno'!

Doctor: It's a shock! Look, shock!  I need a shock!

Donna:  Right then.  Big shock.  Coming up.

(Donna kisses him and the Doctor exhales the poison)

Doctor:  Detox.  Oh!  I must do that more often...I mean the, the detox.

******

Agatha: You make a rather unusual couple.

Doctor and Donna: Oh, no no no no, we're not married.  

******

Agatha: The secret adversary remains hidden. We must look for a motive. Use "ze little grey cells."     

Doctor: Oh yes. "Little grey cells." Good 'ol Poirot. You know, I've been to Belgium. Yeah. I remember. I was deep in the Ardennes, trying to find Charlemagne. He'd been kidnapped by an insane computer...     

Agatha: Doctor, Doctor.     

Doctor: Sorry.     

Agatha: Charlemagne lived centuries ago.     

Doctor: I've got a good memory.

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