The Fire Within

Chapter 17

There are times in your life when you are confronted with decisions that will change your life either for the better or the worse. Most times people don’t notice when they are confronted with those kinds of decisions because almost every time they are the minutest of choices that they don’t even give it a second thought. That was what happened to Grace when she decided to trust Zachariah. Her decision to allow him to write her, or to trust him in the cave while they were on their scouting mission, her decision to allow him into her life was just so easy and natural that she never gave that decision a second thought. Even the decision to marry him was an easy one, even after only knowing him for a short period of time. She never questioned those decisions, nor has she ever thought those decisions were wrong.

But then there are times in life that the decision is much more difficult. Those are the times when people second guess themselves because they recognize that the decision they make can ultimately change their lives either for the better or worse. Those are the decisions that people mull over and dread, because they know that the wrong move can have a devastating effect on their lives. Grace has had plenty of those also, her decision to become an Underground Railroad conductor, her decision to steal Abraxas from her father and runaway to the north, and especially her decision to become a Union soldier. These are decisions that didn’t come easily to her. No matter how bad things in the south were for her, she had a hard time leaving her home and her mother knowing that she would never see her again. She had a hard time deciding to be a soldier because she knew that she was in just as much danger as the men that were fighting, maybe even more because if they found out about her, she could be put to death. Now she finds that she’s once again confronted with a decision that will change her life forever.

In the moments after the courier arrived with letters from Zachariah and Ezekiel it seemed that all would be well. The battle in Gettysburg was over and the Union forced the Rebels back into the south. With two major battles won within days of each other, the south was buckling under the might of the northern armies. She had hoped that the soldiers might get a reprieve, but she didn’t expect what she found out.

The first thing Mary did was to show Grace the newspaper with Zachariah’s name and his injury. The courier went on to explain that his injury was not mortal and that he had mounted his horse and moved his troops in pursuit of the Rebel army. As she read the newspaper and listened to the courier’s words, tears streamed down her face, furious at his stubbornness and that he didn’t come home when he could have, proud of the strong and dedicated soldier that he is, and terrified for his life because everyone knows that infection kills more soldiers than bullets, bayonets, or cannon balls.

It was then through her tears that Mary handed her the letter addresses to her in Zachariah’s handwriting. She quickly opened the letter and took in her husband’s words…

My Love,

   I take this opportunity to inform you that I am well at present and hoping that these few lines may find you in the same state of health. The fighting seems to have stopped and the Rebs are moving south back into Virginia. I know you Will find out that I’ve been injured, please don’t fret however as I am fine and moving out with my unit at first light. I hope you are still allowing yourself to heal as bullet wounds are nothing to ignore, a lesson I have only recently learned from personal experience. I worry for your wellbeing and the wellbeing of my dearest friend, Mary. In spite of my injury, I won't get home and I pray that you keep your promise and remain in our home and wait for my return. I must ready myself to move out, Ezekiel promises that this letter will be sent soon, so know my love for you travels with me as I move across the countryside.

 Your Dear Husband,

Zachariah

She reads the letter over and over, he’s been injured and there’s nothing that she can do about it. According to the courier he was shot in the leg, an injury that would send most any soldier home to their family to heal. Surely he isn’t able to really walk well, but yet he’s still there, fighting and traveling. She doesn’t know why she keeps reading the letter, is it that it comes from her beloved? Is it because he’s injured? Thoughts swarm in her head about returning, about staying as he’s asked, about going and finding him to see for herself that he’s doing fine, but none of these thoughts seem to make her focus on anything in particular.