Love is all I need

The End?

"What do you mean?"I asked, my heart hammering in my chest. "What do you mean you have no hope in us?"

"Well, you were the one who said you're not sure if we'll feel the same way after a few years more...."

"I was just thinking out loud! i mean, you know how sceptical I am about your reciprocation...i just thought maybe you would lose interest in me in a few years... i was hoping you would reassure me...hoping you would say you would love me no matter what...."

The pounding in my chest got louder....what will he say?

"Well....i have no hope... I don't think this is right...let's see..... I have no hope in you... if we still feel the same way about each other in a few years time...then maybe.." he shrugged nonchalantly.

Is that all our relationship meant to him? was is so easy for him to let go? am i the only one to whom "us" mattered?

"I have more than enough hope on me.. I'm just not sure about YOU..." I tried again. "Do you have hope on you?"

He looked down and shook his head.

I tried to bring my heart back under control...i felt slightly sick. But not as bad as would have felt a month ago...because, I have always known deep down that it would come to this.

Everytime he had assured me "Forever and Always" I had tried not to bring my hopes up too much.

How many times has he told me that he would never leave me no matter what? How many times has he told me that I am the one and he will never leave my side?

But the thing is....I didn't blame him. Not one bit. It's not his fault that he feels this way now. It's not his fault that he's losing his feelings for me.... the heart does what it wants...we don't control it...and..he's just following what his heart says.

Even before we entered this relationship, I told myself that I would let go if that was what he wanted. And now, that was was he wanted.

"No?" I asked again to make sure.

He shook his head again.

"So...this is it?"

"I don't know....I just think not at the moment.."

"Then how about later?" I asked again. God! i sound so desperate! Stop it Priya! Be strong!

He just looked away.

My heart deflated...this is it then huh?

I smiled nonchalantly, "Ok then! Catcha later! bye!"

He smiled back.

Atleast we can still be friends... ha..who am I kidding...that would never be enough...not for me.

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I didn't break down.... I did what i has to do...but the conversation kept propping up in my head.

"Stop it!" i told myself. "Just stop!!" 

I thought of the positive side: I don't have to worry anymore that I would let him down...as I said, the heart wants what it wants and i had always felt scared that one day, it might go for someone else and you know... I might let him down...but I was mostly sure that it wouldn't...cause i have loved him for years...years! Now, i don't have yo worry about that...cause HE let ME down....

I constantly tried to think of something reassuring.... constantly tried to make myself not care.....did it work?...nope....

No matter how deeply I involved myself in my work....at some point of time, he always propped up in my thoughts...

Eveytime we saw each other at work, we smiled...but that was it.

He didn't seem too bothered about our predicament... huh..guess my insecurities were not baseless after all. He had lost his feelings for me and that was that. I had to learn to accept it and go ahead.

 I'm not weak . No, not at all! I was going to push through and concentrate on my work! 

"MOVE ON!" I told myself... and slowly...i tried.