Meant to be?

12. The Brit Awards

Harry Edward Styles

I took my one last look at heat and shimmer of the LA sun; took my last whiff of LA wind and got inside the plane.

It has been an insane week in LA and if breathing wasn't that important I don't think I would be doing it. It was insane. We had to filmed for the Midnight Memories music video all the while juggling the WWA tour and doing various show up on awards night.

I propped myself on the sit beside the window and marvel how beautiful LA was because I'm going back to London. Away from blistering heat of LA. I'll really miss this because to come to think of it now, I haven't been out for a whole month in LA. We were always inside the studio.

It was a good thing for one because atleast I get to forget her for a while, I guess you already knew who Im talking about, but then I wouldn't say I was entirely not thinking of her because she was still constantly on my mind, the things I do just distract me from her. It was kind of inevitable. My memories with her were kind of irresistible just like her.

Why why WHY have I suddenly, out of nowhere and out of imperceptible reasons have I gotten to like Janna Carter.

Yes, I realized that after I left her for a month. It's amazing how a month can do wonders on my brain. I've realized I've been feeling this up a long time ago and too idiot of me, I'm too caught up with the idea of her being my friend for me to acknowledge that I was starting to like her. That's why I was jealous of Jake, that's why I felt empty when Jake told me he was her boyfriend, why I felt shy that I kiss her nose. There were so many things that I couldn't quiet understand last month that I do understand now. It was all clear to me.

I was unclear to me on how can I be sure but strangely, I do understand. I find it clear,

I like Janna Carter. I don't exactly know how it started. I just sort of felt it. I thought it was just that she was pretty and all that got me staring at her for too long. I thought it was her many make faces that got me memorizing very bit of her expression and how she react on things. I thought it was just her singing our songs with her made up accents that got me wishing I could hear her voice even fifty thousand miles away from her.

I don't think I'd ever felt this strongly to any other girl before. No one, not even my first love got me feeling like this.

I called her and ask if we could hang out because I have a plan. I want to ask her to come with me to The Brits.

And I think that's when I'll confess to her my feelings and then, we'll see. Pretty good huh?

Problem is, I'm pretty nervous. God. I'm supposed to be Harry "Charming" Styles! Janna was just a girl and I don't understand why am I getting nervous, granted that I like her but really, I've never felt this never ever before on a girl.

When even staring at me in the eye can make me stutter. Of course she wouldn't know what effect she had on me and I'd like to keep it that way. How embarrassing it would be if she knew just how much I am affected by her. That even with her smile, I just felt... different.

I'm not coating sugar with what I'm saying, it was purely true and I'd be damn if she knew this was what going through my mind when I think of her.

I really like Janna Carter, too much for my liking too I might add.

"Little brother you're zoning out" Niall drawled as he sat in front of me. "What's the matter?"

I looked at the window and all I see was clouds. "I'm just thinking." I shrug.

"Of?" he pressed.

I didn't answer him. I stared outside the window and tried to come up a plan on how am I supposed to say it to them. My lads still didn't know about this. I'm going to tell them but I just don't know how.