Temporary

Chapter 13

   I walk to the bus stop this morning feeling accomplished, I'm caught up with school work and am eager to give this letter to Jimmy. Plus it's Friday. Gives me two days to think.

   ''Taylor, could you read this note and tell me if it sounds alright?'' He nods. ''Of course!'' I hand it to him nervously. Then I forget. He doesn't know who Jimmy is. I had only told him about Melanie and her father and mine, but not that Jimmy has taken over, or who Jimmy even is. I'm stuck. Who should I tell him Jimmy is? Good thing I didn't write Mr. Fallon instead. Oh, screw it. ''Jimmy is...uh...my teacher...'' I turn as red as a tomato, I can feel it. My hands cramp up. ''That's really nice of you, Rose. I'm glad you view him in this way. He seems like a good support system for you.'' Phew. I can't believe how mature Taylor took this.

   ''Mr. Fallon, can I give you this letter?'' School's been over and it's dead here. Most of the administration have left. Just the vice principal, principal, and a few others are still here. ''Sure, come on in. I'll read it.'' I walk over, happily, with a smile on my face. ''You know, Rose, I was thinking we could do something special together. Have a father-daughter day.'' He said it so playfully, so joyfully. He said it so harmlessly. ''I just have to use the bathroom, I'll be a minute.'' This is my chance, I think. ''Okay.'' I look around his desk. I know it's not right, but it feels this way. I quickly take a seat on his office chair and open the drawer in his desk. Inside contains a framed photo, of him and someone else. His ex? I take it out and give it a look. I hear footsteps. He is coming back.

   He enters the room, walking toward his desk and takes a seat. I'm sitting in the chair facing his desk. ''So, Rose, I'm reading a letter, is it?'' I nod. ''Yeah, I wrote a letter for you and I wanted you to read it,'' I say. ''It's freezing in here,'' I bring up. ''We can sit in my car if you want.'' Yes. Just the response I wanted. ''Okay!'' He gets up from his desk and puts on his black pea coat, and heads for the door. I follow.

   ''This is...just...so sweet Rose. I really appreciate it,'' he says. You can see the care in his eyes. He really enjoys this. He places one hand over one of mine, which were on my lap. I smile and reach over to hug him. I haven't felt love like this in...in forever. This is what I'm looking for. Security. Authority. And I think I found it. ''So what do you say about father-daughter day,'' he says playfully. ''How about tomorrow,'' I suggest. ''Yeah, sure. I can call you and you can meet me at my house. Go out for they day. Walk around, talk, get something to eat.'' I look into his brown eyes and wonder.

   He acts just like a father, even though you'd think I don't know how a good father is supposed to act, I had Dylan act like a father to me for years. He treated me kind of like how Jimmy treats me. He is just so gentle and innocent. The way he treats me, with such respect, dignity, importance. So genuine. But why? Is this just a sick trick? Do you think it's manipulation, or just him having a heart of gold? Okay. He is not a pervert or pedophile. That's just stereotypical. I think he really wants to be my father and help me. I feel safer with him than with my own father. I've never felt treated with respect or importance or anything positive for that matter, from my father. Just the opposite. He'd tear me apart. I would be a vulnerable target for him to aim at.

   Jimmy drops me off and tells me to have a good night, and leaves with a smile like he's my father dropping me off at my boyfriend's or something. He is so protective. But I like it. I'm not used to it. He told me he'd keep the letter at home. I open the door and can't find my father anywhere. My mother's at work still. I go upstairs to my room. I hear rumbling and noise that seem to be coming from my room. ''...Dad...?'' He comes out. ''Uh...what were you doing in my room?'' Something's amiss I think. Everything looks rearranged. Out of order, like my life. ''Nothin' wasn't doing anything.'' He walks away, heading toward the stairs. I wonder what he was looking for, and why. There's nothing special in my room.