Before I leave home the next day for school, I keep wondering about my father. I do not dare to ask him why he was searching my room, unless I want to get demeaned, of course. I take the last sip of my green tea and walk out the door. I think a bit as I walk to the bus stop. I feel strange today, kind of like how I felt when I couldn't get a hold of Melanie.
I wait at the bus stop, jamming to ''Africa'' by Toto. Ear buds in, music loud. I feel like I'm with Jimmy when I hear this song, and I feel young. Traces me back to childhood. Two happy feelings, one song. I think I hear the bus from afar. I am right. Here it is and here I am and all I can smell is the polluting exhaust when the bus stops before me. I can't stand most of who's on my bus other than Taylor.
''Why are you shaking?'' I look at my hands. ''I don't know. I mean I didn't even have coffee today. And when I do, I don't have any more than two cups. I think it's just anxiety,'' I tell Taylor who seems kind of concerned. He looks down and I awkwardly put my ear buds in and resume back to ''Africa'' and just hum to it until we get there. I would feel weird talking to Taylor about my anxiety like it would be something foreign to him. I actually think he felt uncomfortable with me being all shaky and stuff as if I'm like shy and nervous and have a crush on him or something. I mean I've never felt shaky and anxious around him before. He's pretty cute but I still think I'm not ready for boys. I don't want to be hurt. I don't want to put myself in a position to get hurt. I don't even want a boyfriend right now.
I am making my way to my locker in the hallway and I happen to be humming my favorite song and look up to see Mr. Fallon or Jimmy as I say out of school. I feel startled but I smile at him pleasantly as I pass him anyway, to diminish any awkwardness. He smiles back at me, in approval. He liked that I was humming the song too because he started whistling to the tune of the song just after we exchanged smiles. This hallway was empty, though, for the most part. I take a different route to get to my locker. I am pretty claustrophobic so I don't like congested areas, like the morning halls.
Science flew by so fast, majorly because my teacher was out. The sub had us watch a movie based on what we're learning. Quite frankly, it was interesting, and we weren't assigned any homework tonight. I hear a humming that sounded fairly familiar, so I turn around to see what it is and who is doing it. I turn around and there's my archenemy. She is looking directly at me, humming loudly, while her friends are giggling. ''Hum some more songs to Mr. Fallon why don't cha?'' Whatever she was humming, what I was humming, was my song. She didn't sound like she really knew the song too well because it was hard to make out what she was humming at first. ''Just shut up Kylie,'' I say in an authoritarian tone and then turn back around in disapproval.
I didn't care. You know, about what I said to Kylie. I didn't even think about it, I just blurted it out and didn't care. I guess the anxiety is really getting to me, but I feel good about sticking up for myself and not making myself an easy target for people like her. My father works the same way. After I walk out of Science, I laugh to myself and in my head, give myself a pat on the back, for doing something I normally wouldn't do. I mean the substitute didn't help matters anyway, she didn't even say anything the whole class period, despite the fact the entire class was above a normal sound level meant for a classroom.
I can't stop staring at my History teacher. I feel so secure when he looks at me, and it's so comforting. I mean I don't stare at him in a creepy or inappropriate manner, I just look at him kind of like how a loyal dog looks at their owner. I seem to pay attention the most in his class, but today, I have ''Africa'' stuck in my head and I hum it during class periodically just to annoy Kylie. My humming gets a bit louder and I notice Mr. Fallon looking up from his desk at me, mouthing me the words as a joke. I get back to work. The bell suddenly rings. This day is surpassing me. All we did the entire period was take notes independently. I kind of liked it though because it gave me time to think. I'm the last one out of his room. It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you.
YOU ARE READING
Temporary
RomanceRose moves to a new area and doesn't know anyone. She's shy and isn't good at making friends. She feels her father causes her to feel so depressed and lonely. She doesn't like the fact people come and go in life, and there's nothing you can do to st...
