My heart aches and my eyes burn. No one notices I exist. There is that one person, but she's far too old to visit anymore. My parents are no more and dear god knows where the hell my siblings are. I've been lying to my counselor for the past few days, so I can get out of this hospital fast enough for thanksgiving.
I cannot disappoint Mrs. Harvey anymore, and if I do... What good enough friend would I be? Well... I am not a good friend I will admit.
I was a friend that was left behind to suffer in my own grief and depression, and after all it's not like anyone cared enough to help me out. No occasional visits of, "Hey, I know you're probably going through some stuff but are you okay?" All because I shut them out and yelled at them when really I just want comfort. I don't mean to be this bitchy or rude, I just want to protect myself because no one else will do it for me.
I'm a grown woman who gets yelled at by every mistake she ever made. Who abandoned their baby because she wasn't well enough to work and have enough money to afford him. I lock myself in my apartment so other people won't have to look after me when I'm gone.
I'm so pathetic.
I'm literally leaching onto Mrs. Harvey, and I'm not doing all the things she's telling me to do.
I don't have a home anymore.
I'm all alone.
No one will help me, and no one will come.
I'm just a backup person, and the last person you'd chose on their team.
I should go to sleep, it's only four in the morning and I'm scribbling down late night thoughts. How would this help me any? I doubt it will.
Signing off,
Bonnie Gray
YOU ARE READING
August's Tears
Ficción GeneralRead through the tearjerking, depressing, and dark journal of Bonnie Gray Bonnie Gray is a young adult female who is now learning how to deal with her paranoia and depression by the help of her 74 year-old landlord Mrs. Fiona Harvey Read how these t...
