You and I (vkook)

Chapter 45

a/n Finally the final one!!

*releases fireworks and throws confetti*

I decided to make this part a bit different from the others just because I think it will be nice to separate things like that. So instead of tons of small chapters, this will have only three a bit bigger chapters. It won't be that "each chapter will have a phrase to separate when I change the POVs and I'll write which phrase applies to which one of them". This one here will be Taehyung then Jeongguk then Taehyung again on POVs changes; because I want to separate the chapters by a line of the song You and I by PVRIS and I can divide this line in three, so three chapters. I'm mumbling now so I'll shut up.

Enjoy <3

Part 4 – All the stars align for you and I

And if you and I can make it through the night // And if you and I can keep our love alive // We'll fight

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And if you and I can make it through the night

Taehyung had lost his way. He had lost his will to live long before he even finished Elementary School.

Taehyung was always well aware that feeling has been bottled up inside him since his mother passed away; he always knew that deep inside that feeling was always there. Sometimes hidden and other times screaming in his ear.

He felt like life was pointless. Taehyung always tried to keep in mind his next step. The reason why he should keep going.

First it was to finish school, then to finish college. Sometimes he would think that he should live at least to watch the next season of a certain show or to be there when his favorite band launched a new album.

But as he got closer and closer to the end of college he couldn't see anything ahead of that. It was like there was nothing in front of him. No purpose. No reason. Nothing.

Taehyung felt impossibly lost and that would add up to his troubled mind and then he was hopeless. It was like he wanted to scream but no sound was coming out of his mouth. Like he wanted to run but his feet were glued to the ground.

That feeling was suffocating. He would be having a great day until he realized that the life he had now wasn't what he wanted, but then he would try to think of a way to turning that around and would face an empty room.

Taehyung had no way to escape from this. He was stuck in this reality with this feeling of regret sinking in his stomach. That fear that would consume him and make him freeze. He was stuck feeling hopeless and he thought one day this was going to be the death of him.

Can someone die of fear? Of regret? Or because they feel hopeless? Can that feeling be so alike an excruciating physical pain that it will kill them?

Taehyung used to think it could and he was waiting for his day to come.

No one ever fully understood what was going through his mind. Nobody ever tried to go deeper on his mind and try to figure out what was going on there. No one knew how hopeless he was.

Nobody was aware that he wasn't exactly suicidal but that he would think getting hit by a car wouldn't be so bad. That he would never throw himself in front of a bus, but let's just say that if he saw a bus was about to hit him, he wouldn't exactly get out of the way. He had no sense of self-preservation at all.

Even if people cared about him, they never knew it. He never told them and he wasn't planning to.

No one could ever take Taehyung out of his state.