100 ways to escape you

Chapter 12

Nothing. I feel nothing. Or... I don't know what to feel.

That is probably what people in shock feel like.

I should be sad. I should be worried. I should be... angry... or something...

I look around hazily. The walls are all light blue and the furniture is light brown. Strange... I always figured hospitals were supposed to be white.

-Miss Myles? Hannah?- the voice next to me finally snaps me out of my thoughts.

-Mm?- I say turning my head.

-I said your brother was using benzodiazepines. What happened here was a reaction of that drug mixed with alcohol. –I heard what he said the first time. It's just that my brain refuses to believe it.

I stay still in my spot looking up at the man in white.

-I'm sorry, but I don't understand.

He fixes the glasses on his face, sighs repeatedly as if I annoy him and speaks again in a controlled voice.

-Look, how long has he been having this issue of passing out after drinking alcohol?

I wrack my memory. How long? It seems not like that long...

-About a year and a half, two years the most?

-That's probably when he started using them. This drug... is not a popular drug that is used to get high, but it does have a "relaxing" effect. We can't determine the specific component, but we know it's a benzodiazepine.

-Is it really a drug... was my bother really using drugs without me knowing? I can't believe it... he always seemed so... normal...

-There are also benzodiazepines used in medicine so it is a possibility he was using them medicinally. Not all medical records and visits can be tracked down so I can't be sure that he obtained them illegally... however if he had used them under supervision, I don't think this 'incident' would have happened. So again, my guess is that someone sold those to him.

I look at the doctor unblinking.

-Look... you seem like a good girl, Hannah. We didn't inform the police because we still don't know how he obtained them and he hasn't said anything, but... you should watch your brother. If he has been seeing a doctor behind your back, he should talk to him or possibly change his practitioner. If however, he has obtained them illegally- he should stop using them because he might do something stupid like this time or worse - even end up killing himself.

-...- I don't really know what to say to him. Ben hasn't told me anything about seeing a doctor of any kind, but I don't track him, I don't know what he does in his free time... apparently.

The doctor puts a hand on my shoulder and stands up. I can't help but want to remove the hand that's supposed to be a comforting gesture.

-If my guess is correct though, I think you should talk to your brother and get him to stop using whatever he is using. Any substance used without proper dosage, supervision and knowledge can end up killing a human being.

-Yes, of course.- I say blankly as he finally raises his hand from my shoulder.

-Think about what I said. Your brother should be waking up soon, he has slept for quite a while already. You should go see him.

I nod my head and head over to Ben's room where his bandmates are sitting on chairs near his bed.

-What did the doctor say?- Chloe asks me standing up.