100 ways to escape you

Chapter 16

There is only one truth about relationships: they fail. Someone always gets hurt.

Thus I keep away from any kind of relationship with the opposite sex.

I'm not a nun, I still like to have fun from time to time, though I prefer to keep it a one time thing and never extend beyond that.

It might not be for everyone, but it has always left me without unnecessary tears, feelings or attachment.

That's why it's unusually strange and upsetting that I've come to realize I've both formed an attachment and apparently have some type of feelings towards the one and only Adrian Silver.

I don't know what it is about him, but he has slowly slithered under my skin and isn't intent on leaving.

Thus as I remember standing in the rain with him and the way it felt to be looked at by him, to be touched by him, to have him so close to me I become more and more frustrated.

I really should not go to that party. I know I will see him there and we will probably only get closer.

And I really don't need that. I really don't need to like him any more than I do.

I cover my face with a pillow and exhale slowly.

I lift the same pillow into the air and look at it.

-To go or not to go..-I say aloud and feel like laughing at myself.

-It's supposedly 'to be or not to be'.- Ben sticks out his head from the doorway. Ever since I told him about the party he has been a lot more civil towards me.

-I know the famous line, dork.- I say and sigh again.-I'm thinking if I should go to the party or not.

-Of course you're going. Who's going to keep an eye on me?- he says without emotion.

-What??-I stare at him wide eyed.-You did not just say that...

-M? Yeah, sure I did. Come on, Hannah. You keep me confined for two weeks in this prison and then let me out to a party and then you're not going to be there to keep an eye on me? You're lying to yourself if you think you're letting me go without you.

I turn away from him and look to the floor.

-I wasn't going to be keeping an eye on you...-I mumble and he plops down on the bed next to me.

-I don't care if you're there. Rather... I'd like to have you there. We're going into the enemy's nest after all.- He raises his eyebrows.-Without you... We might not make it out alive...

-Pffft...-I giggle and throw the pillow at him.

-Oh please Hannah, don't let your brother and his friends be killed off in their party... remember "Green room"? I fucking don't wanna be fed to the dogs, sis.

-I don't think it's that kind of a party. And besides the movie was about a band in a neo-Nazi club and so on so forth.-I say looking at Ben and he just waves his hand dismissing my words.

-All the same. Anyway, you're going.- he jumps up from the bed. –So go get ready...and tell Angie, she's been dying to dress you up for the party.

-Uggh..-I groan and put the pillow back over my face.

So apparently I'm going. Or so says Ben.

Who am I kidding? I knew I was going the minute I got the invitation. I've again been lying to myself to make my pitiful self feel better. To obtain some control over my thoughts and actions. How pitiful. How dreadful.