Pisanthraphobia (H2OVanoss and Others)

Chapter 3

He sat on the floor, the yellow artificial light shining down on him from above. He didn't know how long it had been since Tyler had left, but he wasn't supposed to. There were no clocks or windows in his apartment, and he wasn't allowed to leave. It's not like he wanted to.

*A bit after the incident*

Evan sat in a booth with Tyler, both of them chatting about a new game that was coming out. The restaurant was moderately busy, so their waiter hadn't shown up yet.

"It's totally gonna be like Outlast, they always copy horror games."

Tyler had already assumed that the game would be complete trash, but Evan was more hopeful. What Tyler didn't know is that the company producing it had already let him play it.

A part of him wanted to brag to his friend, hold his secrets against him, but he couldn't bring himself to. Even if it was just teasing, he refused to hurt Tyler again.

After everything that had happened, no one expected him to be fine. He had received so many words of comfort, both in person and online, and he seemed to be recovering. Or at least, that's what everyone though.

Evan had always considered himself to be a strong person, and he always wanted to be there for his friends. He was the captain of his hockey team, and he valued altruistic loyalty above all else.

But now, he felt like a completely different being. Shadows lingered in his mind, and he suddenly felt like destroying everything all the time. He never would, but the urge was still there.

The waiter made it to their table, wearing normal attire and a fancy apron, and he was out of breath.

"Sorry about that, my name's Jonathan, are you ready to or-"

The man cut off as Evan's hand slammed into the table. A few other consumers around them turned at the noise, and Evan lowered his head.

Tyler sent an apologetic look to the waiter, and quickly slid around until he was sitting next to his friend. He put a hand on his arm, tremors running through the muscle, and lightly applied pressure.

"Evan? Come on, just breathe alright? Do it with me. In and out."

Evan eventually calmed, through his hands still shook as he cut the food that was eventually delivered to him. All conversation between them had been put on hold, and Evan knew that they were going to talk when they got back.

When they finished eating and the bill was paid, Tyler led the way out of the restaurant, holding the door and letting Evan trail behind him.

They walked down the street, and eventually stopped just beyond a park, the silence weighing down on his shoulders.

"Evan, I..."

He paused, and Evan knew that Tyler was holding back for him. It hurt him; thinking of  all the things he had ruined. It was all his fault.

He felt the edges of his vision smear as his eyes began to burn and his hands began to shake. He clenched his fists as Tyler started again, the blood pounding through his skull and muting his hearing.

He watched the now blurry Tyler pause and turn, staring at him with sadness in his eyes. A hand reached out, and before he could process it he was running.

His eyes were open, but all he could see was the man who had taken away the one thing he treasured. His face felt wet, but he didn't care.

He needed to get away. Running blindly, he stumbled at a dropping, realizing it was a curb directly before a horn blared to his left. He didn't even have time to turn his head.

*back to the present*

It had taken a long time to get out of rehab, and the driver who had hit him filed a lawsuit for the damage to his car. Evan was forced to pay for the 'damages', and the judge had declared him mentally unstable.

By the time he had regained basic motor skills, they had taken him away to the apartment. It was lonely, and he wished there were others around him, it didn't matter who, just so he could talk.

That was all he needed to heal, but life wouldn't give him anymore luxuries. As time wore on he felt pieces of the person he once was chip away, and soon he started having breakdowns.

It was a fragile plan, but it was all he could think of. He faked these panic attacks, and considering how he felt it wasn't that hard. Eventually they had to send people in, and for awhile it was enough.

But suddenly it wasn't, and he kept on fighting. One day, he got that last piece of hope that he needed. They had sent in Tyler.

His angel, Tyler, had come back to him once again. He couldn't call for him too often, and he limited his selfishness to keep up the façade.

He wished he could reveal himself, to have a real conversation, but the cameras were always watching. His heart was strong, though beaten down, and he knew that one day he would escape.

Soon, I will be free again.