sarcasm • joel luschek (Orange Is The New Black , OITNB)

thirteen

Gloria had finished the tour and I was wondering about the hallway, watching random meth heads try and smell the cleaners then getting in trouble, watching people talk against the walls, and people arguing then getting on again.

"On the wall inmate!", a guard yelled and at first I didn't know who he was talking to then I turned around and was instantly shoved agains the wall, stomach first.

It was some guard I haven't seen before, he was young- maybe 19/20 somewhere around those ages. He patted my feet, legs, hips, and stopped at my chest. As you can expect, he thoroughly 'checked' my breast area.

"Okay, handsy. Quit fucking touching me and get on with someone else.", I scoffed and pushed myself off the wall so the boy got shoved backwards. He knew he was being weird so he just smirked at me and brushed himself off after laughing.

I then brushed myself off as well and walked quickly towards the library. I had forgotten my book in my bunk, but it honestly wasn't that good, so I just went to find another one.

I was so shooken up and disgusted by that guard I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking. I bumped into a small dark skinned girl, the same girl as before, Poussey or something like that.

"Yo, watch out!", she yelled dropping a book onto her foot, probably hitting a few of her toes. "Ow- sh- dang.", she said getting mad then shaking it off and looking at me.

I got a dry mouth, worried I'd just started a fight with some bipolar person, when in reality she didn't like fighting and that's why she calmed herself down within seconds.

"I think I seen you the other day!", she said smiling brightly at me.

"Didn't think you could see much of anything with all your friends crowded around you.", I said grabbing a poetry book and walking to the table I was at before- Poussey following me.

"Don't you got any girls yet? You been here a few days, who have you been sitting with in the cafeteria?", she asked and I rubbed my forehead.

"I only took a few steps before getting scared off, haven't been in there since.", I told her and she gave a small gasp, it was a dramatized gasp but a gasp nonetheless.

"What've you been eating?"

"Nothing? How would I get food if I don't have any money for commissary and can't get into the cafeteria?", I scoffed. "I just want to read and be alone. I'm sorry I bumped into you, please go."

"I didn't even get your name.", she said and a Asian girl walked over, at first giving me a confused look but then walking over and hugging Poussey across the waist whilst pecking her cheek a few times.

"No need to get all jealous there, Sushi Roll.", I said slamming the book down. "I'm Alaniz,", I started telling Poussey, "and I'm straight."

The Asian gave me a weird look, but it quickly turned to a pitiful glance. "Hey- I didn't-", the Asian started but I had already began making my way to the library exit.

I think my periods gonna start soon. That or I'm just so stressed about work tomorrow, surely Luscheks' read the family thing- surely he'd think so many things about me.

What would he say when he asks who the father was? Jesus, I was raped. It's just hitting me now, basically a year later- I'm just finding out I was raped. I could never remember exactly what happened- that's why.

I love Donnie- loved Donnie. He was the only person I ever trusted. "Move it, chichi.", some women called to me before pushing me out of her way.

"Bitch, go around!", I yelled to her and she flipped me off as she kept walking. "Elephant.", I groaned remembering her large nose like it was my last name.

I made it back to my block, Maritza and Flaca running towards me. Flaca gasped, "What the hell did you do to your fuckin' eyeliner! I spent a good 10 minutes on that shit!"

I guess it was probably smeared from earlier with Luschek, haha whoops. I rolled my eyes and walked through the two into our bunk. "Yo, what's your deal? How you gonna like shove passed your only friends in this place?", Maritza yelled and put her hand on my shoulder.

"Listen, I don't give a fuck about my eyeliner!", I yelled and wiped at my eyes, making the mascara and eyeliner smear all over my eye and cheek area. "I hate it here, I haven't eaten in two days- or three days- I don't even remember how long I've been here!"

"Oh, you just hangry.", Flaca said waving her hand in front of me, neither of them offended by my outburst. She grabbed something from under her bed and held a granola bar loosely in front of me instead of her hand.

I quickly took it- and took a seat in my bed- before she changed her mind and ripped it open, taking half of it in my mouth before biting down. I covered my mouth, to show a little humanity in what I just done, as I chewed.

"Now, why haven't you eaten? You're as skinny as a twig, you gonna lose that ass if you don't eat something!", Maritza continued, "Somebody fuckin' with you?"

"We will give them the worst makeover you ever seen.", Flaca added. "Black eyes n' shit."

"Not makeup black eyes, like full on swelled up and ugly shit.", Maritza said and I covered my mouth with both hands after throwing the, now empty, wrapper on the floor.

"Don't know.", I said but all that came out was muffle, and a few oatmeal grains onto my palms. I swallowed then repeated what I just said since judging by Maritza and Flacas confused faces they didn't understand what I said. "Don't know the girls' names."

"More then one?", Maritza gasped while Flaca grabbed her nail-file and started filing away at her nails. "We got a few asses to like kick and many nails to break."

"No.", I said quickly swallowing whatever was left in my mouth. I coughed, nearly choking, and stood up off my bed. "I don't want to be sent to this SHU thing I keep hearing about. I'll try and get into lunch tomorrow."

"And dinner, if you're not a breakfast person.", Flaca said. I nodded and sat back down on my bed, only to lay down. I moved my box, that I usually slept with, to the floor and told my goodnights to the two girls.