Forgive Me Father- On Hiatus

We Meet Again

"What do you do?"

"I'm a 9-1-1 operator and dispatcher," as usual I watched as his eyes enlarged at the news, like any other time I told someone my occupation.

"Word? I bet you hear a lot of crazy shit, huh?"

"Everyday, it's fun though. I love my job, I can't wait to start back"

"You been on vacation or something?"

I shook my head, "no I umm, I just moved back here."

"Damn," he turned over onto his side to face me. "Where'd you go?"

"Kentucky, I know that's random-" I started before he could say anything. "-but I needed somewhere different than here for a new start."

"So you're from here then?"

"Yeah, I was born here, left here for Kentucky and three years later came back. That night I met you was my first night back."

"You mind me asking what made you move and come back?"

I could lie and he would never know the truth, besides after I leave here today, I would be done with him and focusing on my child connecting and building a relationship with her father. But he seemed like he was a good person, and lying was something I didn't like to do. "I broke up with a guy after six years, and moved for a fresh start cause I knew if I stayed he wouldn't have made it easy for me to be done." I watched him, watching and waiting for me to continue. "Well, not long after I got to Kentucky, I found out I was pregnant and after three years-" I shrugged, blowing off my guilt. "I figured I had kept her away from him long enough-"

His head dipped in astonishment, even taken me by surprise by the gesture. "You hid his child from him?"

"I did-"

"Look, I ain't judging you or nothing baby, but I was in his shoes before then had to find out she killed my seed ma, so if you haven't already then tell that man about his kid."

I nodded, chewing the inside my lip as I watched his now subtle movement. Something I could tell was done out of nervousness. "I am," I sighed out, pulling my eyes off of him and on to the ceiling. "He was an asshole to me, but he's a great father. I just hope he can forgive me."

I could see him shrug out of my peripheral view, "maybe"

Sighing, I turned to face him again. "What about you? What's the story behind your pain?"

He sighed then, turning over onto his back with his hands propped behind his head. "What makes you think there's pain?"

"Well if that wasn't reason enough"

We both chuckled lightly, me shoving his shoulder encouraging him to continue.

"Well it was the shit with my ex and her having the abortion, shorty got real suspect on me. Telling me she was having pain, so she kept taking these damn pills. I'm thinking they were just Tylenol or something like it-"

The mood in the room had shifted, his jaw clenching and releasing before he continued. "Turns out she was taking Naproxen to kill the damn baby. Claimed she was tryna build a career and a baby would just mess that up for her. No where in her sorry ass explanation did she mention us, everything was about her selfish ass." He paused momentarily, shaking his head and releasing a sigh. "She had me thinking something was really wrong, saying she was in all that pain for about a week in a half and then walk in on her bleeding out in the toilet when she knew the truth. She knew that was my child in there ma, but she cried and apologized the whole way to the hospital. Had a nigga stressing cause I ain't think shorty could get so low," he scoffed out a short laugh. "I'll never forget what the doctor said that got her ass caught up, he said- 'this is why it's best to plan for a baby in a relationship. That much pain reliever in your system was sure to kill it-"