More Than Friends? || Vkook❤

dangerous thoughts

*Read whats in the cover picture.*

Without even thinking about the situation, i quickly shut my eyes as taehyung neared my face and heat rushed to my face. My heart was hammering in my chest and i was finding it difficult to breathe properly.

He grabbed me by my shoulders and pulled me even closer to him until i could feel his breath on my lips...

But suddenly he just stopped...why did he stop? My heart already hurts from all of this nonsense....so please..just stop..

I opened my eyes to see taehyung resting his head on my chest. His shoulders were bobbing up and down, and his tears were wetting my shirt as  he clutched it.

"Look at me...." He mumbled " im so pathetic that im trying to kiss another dude. What am i? Gay?"

And with those words, my heart just completely broke. That little ray of hope that i was holding on to was gone. The reality that tae would never like me,let alone love me, started to kick in and fresh tears started to spring out of my eyes.

After i confessed to him....this happens?
But i shouldve known..i never had good luck to begin with...

"I-i..." I stuttered before getting serious.

" Its ok if you kiss me..im perfectly fine with you using me...even if you dont feel the same way, as long as i can make you happy...thats good enough for me.."

Taehyungs beautiful tear stained face stared at me as he let go of my shirt.

"Kookie...." He softly said, but i couldnt bear to be around him knowing that he didnt feel the same way about me. I'd made a fool of myself.. Things would never go back to being the way they were before...

I quickly stood up and showed taehyung my famous fake smile

"Taehyung its ok, i understand if your not into guys" i let out a painful chuckle before turning to walk down the stairs and out of that old house, leaving taehung on the floor in his own thoughts.

As soon as i got out, i crumpled to the floor in tears. Just like my poor heart...

" GOD DAMN IT!!" i banged my hand on the floor.

"Why dont you like me?..."

"Are you going to leave me alone?..." I shouted to no one

"Why..." I stared up at the sky as tears streamed down my face.
" why is this so hard. I knew this was coming.." I bitterly laughed and felt a raindrop fall on my face mixing with my tears.

Sighing, i stood up and began walking down the path of misery to my house.
The rain just made a pitter patter sound when it landed on my head and my hair was plastered to my forehead. I was completely soaked by the heavy rain, but i didnt care at the moment. I just wanted to get home as soon as possible and lock myself in my room.

There was no way i could enjoy these last few days of freedom from my parents....

Everything was fucked...

----- at home （＾～＾）

When i got home i locked the door and kicked off my timbs. Sighing, i walked up the stairs to my room and shut the door behind me.

Before i even had a chance to throw myself on my bed, my phone went off several times. i didnt even bother to check who it was from. I really wasnt in the mood for any type of human contact....i wasnt even in the mood to eat cotton candy and watch anime, and thats saying something....

The thought of cotton candy reminded me of taehyung.... That one time where he showed up at my door and wiped the blue fluff off my lips...and ate it....

Those were happier times....

Now thats gone....forever....

Welp..there was only one thing that would help me in these situations... Once again, i reached for my majestical box under my bed that held the one thing that kept me sane...

I finally reached it and pulled out my razor blade and rolled up my sleeves.
Staring at the scars from last time, i  put the blade against my skin and quickly sliced.

"This one is for my parents" i made another cutt

"And this one is for making jimins situation worse" once again, another open wound was made.

"And lastly, this one is for taehyung......." As i mentioned that name, a bunch of emotions rushed out of me...

Anger..sadness..frustration..love..regret....

tears fell down my face and i quickly moved the blade across my skin.

Blood poured out of my arm....crimson red....a beautiful color....

i got up to head over to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. I originally went there to grab a bandage to wrap my arm, but i wont deny the fact that my eyes glanced at the bottle of pills.....

And I wont deny that i thought of grabbing it and swallowing it all... But then i shook myself out it..

I dont think i would actually kill myself.... Cutting is as far as ive ever gone..

Grabbing the alcohol bottle and opening it. My hands shook and i hesitated to pour it on my cuts. This would hurt like a bitch.. Fuck my life..

i poured it on my cuts and winced at the pain. Taking deep breaths, i slowly wrapped my arm up and left to go back to my room.

Kicking my razor box back under the bed, i threw myself on my bed and decided to check the notifications that i got a few minutes earlier.

chim got that jibooty: hellloooo kookiee....thanks for standing up for me today..... Im really grateful. I hope things went well with taehyung.（＾ｖ＾）

After reading that text, i smiled. At least someone was thankful that i was alive......

But things didnt go well with taehyung...at all...

                                                                  

Ughhhhhh this chapter legit hurt me as i was writing it.... Like i actually started crying while writing this..awwwwww poor kookieeee....AND I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT WRITING THIS SHITTY CHAPTER FOR YOU GUYS. BE GRATEFUL. ┐(ﾟдﾟ┐)

Anywaysssss, i hope you enjoyed this chapter especially since i havent had an actual update in a while <3. i love you guyssss.

And remember, suicide is never the answer, things get better, so plz dont hurt yourselves.

Baiiiiiii
┗(＾0＾)┓