The Bad Boys Mission

XII

I hung up the phone and just stared at the wall. I wanted to cry. I didn't want to cry. I wanted to punch him. I wanted to have him hold me. So many emotions were flowing through me and I didn't know what to do. I know I told him not to come over but I want him to. I want him to ignore what I said and be at my window. I wanted my bad boy. Before I could comprehend what was happening, I felt a tear fall and then another. Soon enough I was full on sobbing. I laid down and eventually drifted off.

The next morning I woke up to puffy eyes and a pillow marked up with mascara stains. I look across my room and saw his jacket. I need to return it I thought. I texted Max and told him to meet me at the park downtown. I got up to get ready and mentally prepare myself to let Max go.

Arriving to the park I had a bad feeling, something was going to happen. I figured Max would be late but to my surprise he was there, sitting on the bench. He had dark bags under his eyes and his hair was sticking out in different directions. I slowly approached him and saw the red eyes.

"Max" my voice came barely above a whisper.

"Lia..." his voice was low and rough. I could see so many emotions in his eyes. Pain, sadness, and something else. Seeing him like this broke me. I held back the tears and looked down.

"I wanted to meet up so I could return this"

Barely looking up, I extended my arm to him. When he didn't take the jacket I looked up at him.

"Take it" I said, practically begging.

He didn't say anything. He just continued to stare at the jacket in my hand.

"Max, please just ta-" I couldn't finish my sentence. Max grabbed my arm and pulled me close to him. He didn't kiss me, but I wanted him to.

"Tell me we're done"

"What?" I was confused. Did he want us to be over. The thought alone broke my heart.

"Tell me" he repeated half his sentence.

"I can't" I looked down once again. The blank look in his eyes hurt more than anything.

"Why? Why can't you say it"

"Max..... I can't let you go. The days you were gone had me going crazy. I miss you"

He didn't respond. We stood there, looking into each other's eyes.

"What do you want then?" He questioned and everything I wanted before came out.

"I want you to hold me Max! I want you to tell me it's going to be okay. I want you to be there for me and I want to have you by my side. I want you to kiss me! I just want you!"

He didn't hesitate before pulling me even closer and kissing me. I took no time kissing back. I held him close. I didn't want to let go because I feared if I did, he'd disappear again. As if he could hear my thoughts, he stopped kissing me and looked me straight in the eyes and said,

"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."