Our Purpose Driven Life(English Version)

CHAPTER 5: JANUARY 20, 2004 8:50pm - 11:42pm

     Because of our Lord God our Father and our Creator i am being enlighted or, gradually my life is changing because of my mission that I will share the love of Lord God our Father and our Creator. It says on the book what is the meaning or what is the symbol of life for you, for me the symbol that I can give is heart, because heart can change anyone, because if you have love for other people even if you don't know them you will do anything just to help them. For example those people like us but beggars, even if it's food you will give it to them you will share it. The lesson here is even if you are not related, but you felt pity it's one of the characteristics of love. That's what God our Father and our Creator want to tell us. But when God did not teach me yet the true right, the symbol that i can relate to life is the part of the body of a man, pennis but half errect, that is my ultimate sin that im forgetting or little by little i'm changing it, i was being addicted to masterbation that i'm doing it 3 times a week. But i'm thanking God that i was awaken before it went to sex. Before i was doing it, it's just like nothing and i'm doing it once a week that it became severe and doing it more than 2 years. The lesson there is at first i thought i was happy, thought that will make me happy when i am sad, mad, depress or stress on my work that's why I'm doing it. That it's like to divert my attention, so that my negative feelings will vanish, that's what I did i left my challenges, instead of facing it, I'm doing it that way, because I thought that it makes me happy I'm doing it again and again, but after doing it most of the time, I felt like I'm not really happy. Temporary only, just like what the priest said in the homily, that sexual immorality is fake or impostor happiness, that's after a year of doing it, I search in the internet how to stop but my desire of doing masterbation ignited. I don't know what to do even if I pray for it nothing happens, because It's my fault I still want it that's why I can't find a way to cure this addiction. But because I'm still praying and waiting, the right time came. And that's the answer that Lord God our Father and our Creator and the book of the purpose driven life, that you have to be true to yourself that you are a sinner that if you really want to change you have to confess and find a person who can really understand you, that can accept your failures, because what's important is changing is deep inside your heart and God our Father and our Creator wants that, My brothers and sisters put it in your hearts that even if your sins are too many than mine or lesser than my sins or my faults, what's important is you want to change, that you can forget your past and you really want to have a true change and embrace the true happiness, and Lord God our Father and our Creator can only change it. God also doesn't like when we are not sure to many things, but he feels joyful when we always call Him for help. Because if you will read it right now, it's like there so many wrong, it's like this writings are not Christ like, it's like there's lacking, we are like that we have limitations, that's why when we are getting stronger we need to thank Lord God our Father and our Creator, because yes it's included on my trials that while I'm writing this, someone's bothering me(demons distruct my works, like making strange sounds to make me scared or loss my attention to what i'm doing). because I lack focus on Lord God our Father and our Creator, the reason is He's making me stronger, and I accept that for now I am weak. I lack confidence that's why He gives me trials little by little, that if God is not in my heart while doing this, because he is trying me if i am learning, that while He is not in my heart do i also see how He sees things positively. i lack confidence and i am very humble, now because i want to be truly His son. It's inside my heart that i want to change, He likes that I can balance all the things, balance confidence, balance humbleness, balance thanking to Lord God our Father and our Creator, balance emotions.

     If you can see, it's like there so many, it's like it's too hard, but this is what He is saying, lets trust Him because if we put our trust, all of it will be positive, at first it's not easy, rather than saying it is so hard, but if you really want to change, even if it's not easy at first, and if you'll stay focus, you'll embrace it, and after finishing does challenges, you will say to yourself that you can do it. Because our Lord God our Father and our Creator, He is the only one who can see everything. And the things that you said that you can't do you can do. He knows if we can and we cannot even if at present we thought we cannot, He is perfect for He is a God and the only true living God. That's why we should follow Him and never complain.

     We should not go back or be afraid when we talks about death, because our lives in this world is temporary only. This is preparation only for the Paradise or Eternity. what matters is we died finishing our mission, this is just like a loan, loan is when you borrowed, think that your life was just borrowed from Lord God our father and our Creator, and God wants us to live a life here on earth simple, we cannot do all the things. We should always remember that God wants us to be simple and we cannot do all the things. And we should always remember that if we want more obligations or responsibilities it is more complicated. More simple more easier. Like us we have business but we have many depths, if we will sell our business, we can pay all our depths. My parents are so very good to us that's why until now we are asking for their help. It should always be exact. But thanks God for God gave us loving parents, that's why I was mold this way, and became my mission. All this things where planned before. That's why God wants us to focus only in Him. God our Father and our Creator, thank you for everything hope I pass my mission for this day.