Pretend Friends. |Kaneki Ken X Reader

【Futility】|Chapter Eleven

The feeling of various liquids flowing through my body feels so...Horrible.

"Sir,are you ready for your operation?Please nod if you are."

I feel so...disgusting...unworthy...useless.

"Okay,that's good.Are you sure you don't want us to contact someone you know to support you through this?"

No...anything but that...I wanted to erase myself...as if i were never born...I was never supposed to be known by anyone...I was never supposed to create attachments with anyone...I was fine being alone...but why...why does that now hurt me?

"Oh and I will make sure that your gift for your lover is delivered to them.For you."

I would normally smile at something like that.It's impossible now.I can no longer move in anyway...I can't—

"I know you can't smile,or talk,but you can at least listen to me.That's all people need really...Someone to listen to them,someone that can give their time to them...You've done that quite a lot during the time you have been here.I want your last moments to be special.I will say Thank you,in everyone's stead,for everything you've done for them.No,us."

At least,I can show my joy through—

"A-are you crying..?Please,don't cry or..."

I find humans so beautiful. Whether they are...

Crying.

Laughing.

Smiling.

Dying.

They are exquisitely beautiful creatures.A creature that can never be imitated perfectly enough. I've found my answer at long last...After all these years...(NAME)...thank you for helping me understand...and now from another party completely unrelated to me...no...us..I can now understand...We were never meant to be.Maybe you can understand in the years to come but,right now,I understand everything.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for everything.

In the end,I couldn't fulfill my promises.

I couldn't stay strong.

I couldn't continue to smile.

I couldn't stay with you.

I'm sorry.

I will always love you....

(NAME).

It was December 30th,ten days after Kaneki's birthday had passed.Where was he?(NAME) pondered for a long time about this question.(NAME) distracted their thoughts from this by visiting the library more often and,occasionally now,visiting Haru. Tearfully (NAME) recalled the most recent visit to the hospital with Haru. He was no longer the person he was before...he acted wild...full of hatred towards everyone..The complete opposite of his usual self replaced him.(NAME) knew that....

The person lying down in that hospital bed of room 305 is not Haru. 

(NAME) played with the tips of their (H.L) (H.C) hair as they thought about what Haru—no what that person might be doing right now...(NAME) could not imagine what they would do again so (NAME) prevented themself from visiting for a while.(NAME) decided after a long while to visit them after they had refreshed themself with a cup of coffee at Anteiku.(NAME) stripped down and entered the cold shower,the droplets of water rapidly hit their porcelain skin.The small drops of water slid down their enitire body,covering them in a thin layer of cool water.Their soft hair had been drenched in the sheet of the colourless liquid and reduced it's usually bright colour to a darker shade almost too beautiful to describe.