My LOVE Noona

26: Cutting Ties

Seulbi's POV

I let him touch me.

I let him control me.

I cheated on Joseok.

I stayed silent in the car while Joseok drives us back to his house.

"So, Seulbi.." I fondled with my fingers, guilt eating me up every second as I feel lingering the burning sensation where Taeyang touched me.

"I figured since I already have your mom and your step dad's permission, I was planning for us to go to america to get your dad's blessing, what do you say?" Joseok stated excitedly.

My heart dropped.No. No. No!

"No we cant." I said sternly. There is no way I'm going back to America. I left L.A for a reason and I don't plan on going back.

"Why not? I mean I really want to have your old man's permission, you know...before I take away his little princess." He laughed.

He doesn't know.

I cant tell him.

"My dad..." I barely chocked at the word. "Uh, he's a bit scary." I coughed.

"It can't be that bad. If your worried that he would scare me away, don't worry I wont let the father talk get to me." He laughed.

I cant go back.

"Besides, I already booked the tickets." He grinned as he pulled up to the drive way. "Tomorrow's our flight."

I immediately went out the car, slamming the door shut, I practically ran to my room and locking it.

Sliding down the door I let out a ragged sigh.

All my guilt I felt was thrown out the window the moment he mentioned the tickets.

How could he?!

I ran a hand through my hair, pulling a bunch.

I was angry. No I was furious. He made that decision without me knowing?

He doesn't know...

I put my face on my hands, desperately pushing my memorise  and tears away.

I pushed my hand to my back pocket for my phone, wanting to call the girls.

I felt a piece of paper sticking to my phone, I pulled it out as well.

Taeyang...

I hesitantly typed the number.

It rang five times before he picked up.

"Hello?"

"Taeyang...can we meet...please?"

._._._._._._.

I sat in my room in silence, with Taeyang's box on my hands.

I opened each folded piece one by one, most of it says the same things like

I'm sorry.

I miss you

But one caught my attention

It wasn't my choice.

What did he mean? I fondled the last piece on my fingers, it was quite big and it seems like a letter inside.

'Noona, I cant meet now, just read what's in the box, I promise I'll explain to you when my schedule gets cleared up.'

Still lost in my thoughts, I let the paper slide through my fingers to fall to the box.

I sighed and closed it again, placing it back in my drawer I picked up the guitar instead.

When emotions cannot be upheld by words, sing and let all the frustrations out.

Please, don't see
Just a girl caught up in dreams and fantasies
Please, see me
Reaching out for someone I cant see

Take my hand, lets see where we wake up tomorrow
Best laid plans, sometimes its just a one night stand
I'll be damned, Cupid's demanding back his arrow.
So lets get drunk on out tears.

When everything was doing fine, that it almost seems perfect, why do the lost and forgotten puzzle pieces reveal it self.

When the picture already seems good enough, why does people try and force me to see the bigger picture.

I left my past for a reason. I moved on to stop this attachment. So why is it always haunting me that it slowly suffocates me to thinking.

I don't deserve happiness?

I stopped strumming and sighed. The only thing I can do now is face him once and for all.

If I have to, I'll finally cut all my ties.

To Taeyang

And to my father.
----

"Joseok?" I knocked at his office door.

"Come in." I heard him call out.

He was sitting on his swivel chair, I ran up to him and placed my self on his lap while wrapping my arms around his torso

"Joseok I'm sorry for over reacting earlier." I muttered in his shirt.

He placed his hand on top of my head and pet it. I like it when Joseok does this. Everything about him makes me feel at ease.

But when it's Taeyang, I lose myself from all the tingles and heart stopping effect he have to me.

I buried my face deeper in joseok's chest, blocking out my conscience.

"It's okay if you don't want to." Joseok whispered lovingly.

"No, this is important to you, I can tell. So I made the decision not to be selfish." I looked up into his eyes.

"Baby, your the most selfless person I know, you accepted me and Minie, you take care of us so much that sometimes I feel like I'm taking you for granted. If anything, I'm the selfish one here." He said in a soft voice. I can see the regret in his eyes.

Sometimes I feel like I'm taking you for granted.

Another gut wrenching feeling ran up my spine. His words hit me hard.

"No you're not." I cupped his face with both my hands "you always makes me feel happy, complete, like I'm your world, you and Minie are my family now." I smiled at him.

His eyes crinkled and lit up with joy. I leaned up and kissed him.

"I love you Seulbi."

"I love you more."

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