Forever (Andy Biersack Fanfiction)

Chapter 31: Out Of The Depths We Crawl To Light

I stared at myself in the mirror, staring at the rockstar standing before me. I was dressed up in full gig gear and makeup.

The screams of the crowd echoed through the hall, that was me and Andy at one point, screaming and chanting while the band prepared themselves for the show, just as we are now.

During soundcheck Alex was acting like his usual caring self, it scared me. I knew he'd probably be drinking again tonight and although we had sepearate beds this time, i had no idea what he'd do. I knew i had to end our relationship, but i was scared about what would happen if i broke up with him while he was allowed to drink.

Memories of Danny came flooding back, how abusive he was and how he would never let me break up with him...

"Hey Jade! C'mon, lets go!"

Tom tapped his drumsticks together, attempting to hurry me up.

"Coming..."

I hated going on stage all sad and depressed and having to fake my happiness, it made me feel so fake, just like those other 'fake' celebrities.

I followed him to the stage silently, trying not to look upset.

"You ok?"

He stopped in front of me with his back facing me.

"Fine, why?

"Usually you're all pumped up before a gig."

"I'm just tired."

"After all the sleeping you did this morning, really?"

"Yeah, that was only for like 2 hours."

"Didn't you sleep at all last night?"

"Nope"

"Why not?"

"Dunno. It was probably the adrenaline and excitement from our first gig of the tour."

"You sure?"

"Yeah"

"Ok. Oh and what happened with Alex?"

"Nothing"

"There was a lot of tension between you two this morning and Ricky looked like he wanted to stab him."

"Doesn't Ricky always look like that?"

"Not when he gets to show off his skills on stage."

"Well how am I supposed to know what goes on in his head?! I don't know what's wrong with everyone all the time!"

"Geez Jade, save it for the set."

"Don't you worry, you're all gonna see a new side to me tonight."

I stormed off towards the side of the stage.

"I think I already have!"

He called after me looking stunned. People need to understand that even I can be pushed to my limits.

We appeared on stage individually,  the same way we had the night before, when it was my turn I ran on, gripping my microphone tightly and moshed hard, I was going to to channel all of the emotions I was feeling at that moment and use them to put on the best damn show to date.

As I started to sing I grabbed onto the microphone stand at the front of the stage and looked out into the crowd and standing in the front row, holding onto the metal barrier was Libby.

She'd come to see our show? Why?

(1 hour later)

"Thank you guys! You've been awesome tonight! I don't know how many of you came to see us especially, but you all seemed to enjoy our set as well as the others which means a lot! We love you and hope to see you all very soon!"

I ran off the stage and over to Alex, I felt so much adrenaline at that moment which was a good moment to speak to him.

"Hey Alex, can we have a minute?"

"Sure babe."

I lead him over into a corner so we could talk in private.

"We need to talk about last night."

"Why? I said I was sorry. I didn't mean it. I was drunk off my ass."

"Maybe so, but you scared the hell out of me. I thought you were gonna rape me Alex."

"I would never do that!"

"Well you showed me last night that you were more than capable of doing it. Who knows what would have happened if I'd have stayed in that bed."

"Nothing would have! If you say no I'll back off."

"Well you didn't. So I'm sorry but I can't go through that again."

"You won't have to!"

"I don't know that..and I don't want to take any risks..so I'm sorry but our relationship is over. We were fine the way we were before and I think we should go back to that."

"Please Jade, you know how much I  love you!"

"Alex...please...you acting like that brought back so many horrifying memories and I can't go back down that route."

"I promise I won't drink!"

"Don't make promises you can't keep. You'll make that promise then Tom and James will twist your arm and wisk you off to a bar or strip club and you'll enjoy every minute of it."

"No! Please Jade, please..."

Tears started to fill both of our eyes and I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck and kissed his forehead.

"I'm sorry Alex...I wanted this to work but it won't..."

I took one last glance at him before leading the way back to the tour bus...