On The Front Lines

4

"Rolling out in five, Hampton," a man in camouflage called from the car.

            Jay nodded to him and turned to us.
            Mani was the first one to say something. "Be careful, big bro," she told him as she hugged him.
            They let each other go and he told her "I will. While I'm gone, don't think I won't be checking in on you, alright. I only want to hear good things. Train hard," he said.
            "Make it look easy," she finished with a smile.
            He smiled and looked down at Lay, who hadn't said a word since we left the house. He kneeled down, eye level with her, "You gon' give me a hug and kiss?"
            After a second, she kissed his cheek before wrapping her arms a neck, "I love you, daddy," she told him, her voice dripping with sadness. Watching the two of them broke my heart.
            "I love you too, baby." He pulled back, "Be good okay and when I get back, we can do whatever you want. Deal?" She nodded. "Go wait in the car with Mani."
    He hugged them again before they went to the car.
            "So, you gon' me a hug and kiss?" He asked, turning to me.
            "This is just so unreal, you know." I told him, shaking my head. "Like, it's not registering in my head that you're about to leave us."
            "I know bae. Come here," he said pulling me to him.
            I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck as we embraced. "I love you, Jason," I told him as I tried to hold myself together.
            "I love you too." He pulled back and kissed me as if he wouldn't see me again.
            Pulling apart, I looked at him and saw that his eyes were glossy. "Don't do that," I told him as I wiped away the only tear that fell. "I need to watch yourself out there, okay. I need you to come home; we all do."
            "Let's go, Hampton," the man called.
            "Remember what I said. I love you," I told him as I hugged him again.
            "I love you too. I'll see you soon," he said before kissing me and going to the car.

            "What," I asked through my sleep as I felt tapping in my shoulder.
            "I had a nightmare," I heard Lay say and opened my eyes.
            Sitting up, I turned on the lamp and saw that she was crying, "What's wrong? What happened?"
            "Daddy got hit with a bunch of paint balls and wouldn't move when I told him to wake up," she explained, wiping her eyes.
            "Oh Toots, come here," I told her and pulled the blanket back so she could get in the bed. "It was just a dream; a really, really bad one, but a dream none the less. Daddy's fine; you'll talk to him tomorrow, okay?"
            "Okay," she replied, hugging the stuffed rabbit Jay won for her at the fair.
            I smiled as she laid her head on Jay's pillow. "Good night Toots," I kissed her head and turned off the light.

            "Hey twin," I said as she walked in the kitchen.
            "What's up twin? How are you?" She asked as she sat at the island.
            "I'm alright, just tired. I didn't get much sleep last night. Lay had a nightmare and came and got in the bed with me. After making sure she was okay, I was up all night thinking."   
            "What kind of nightmare?" She asked, eating a grape.
            "She said Jay got hit with paintballs and when she tried to wake him up, he wouldn't move." I looked at her, "That's too much for a nine year old. So, of course when she said that, my mind went into over drive."
            "That's hard man. But he calls y'all like every day, so you know he's fine. He's been gone what- two, three weeks? He's still in good spirits, you know. I know when he calls me, it's always a good conversation so I know what's it's like when y'all talk. Stop worrying," she told me.
            "I can't. I feel like if I stop worrying for no reason, I'll actually need to start worrying for real."
            She nodded, "Well, on a different note," she said slide a folder across the counter.
            I opened it seeing information for upcoming trips. Closing the folder, I slid it back to her, "I can't think about that right now."
            "Why not? This is work, what we do. I know you miss Jay and I know you're worried but you still have work to do. He wants to you to go."
            "What? How would you know?" I asked biting a strawberry.
            "Because he told me 'Sis, I don't want her to let this sidetrack her and she's not doing her thing'." She said, imitating him.
            "What about the girls?"
            "Sis, if she tries to use the girls as an excuse not to go on the business trips, tell her it never stopped us before'"
            I gave her a stank look, "I'm about tired of you and your brother," I told her, making her laugh.
            "Aye" she laughed, "You know how it is. But seriously though, you can't stop doing you, twin. The girls can get their work from their teachers for the time we're gone. Maya already called and asked. You need to go on these trips to promote the movie and you know it. Yeah, you can do without it but it's free publicity just walking around downtown Houston for an hour."
            I thought about what she said and she was right. The movie would do good whether I promote it on the trips or not but, like she said, free publicity.
            "Fine, y'all win," I told her, grabbing he folder and opening it again.
            We sat in the kitchen for hours talking and laughing, just running it, and going over some ideas. When Jay called we took a break and talked to him. By the time the call was over, I was in my feelings; it never failed. Hearing his voice made me happy but now with him gone, it's a bitter sweet feeling I get. Though, it was different with Co here. We laughed as she and Jay went back and forth about Steph Curry and Lebron. I'm grateful to have her while we go through this. She's a huge factor in helping me keep everything together; especially in front of the girls.
            "Thank you for everything twin," I told her as we walked outside. "I really appreciate all the help with the girls and everything."Lord knows those two are a handful."
            "It's no problem, twin. You're my family; I would do anything for y'all. Besides," she smiled, "I can't have you falling apart on me, you know. I'll see you tomorrow at church, alright," she hugged me before getting in her car and speeding out of the drive way.

            On the way home from church, Mani threw up at a red light. With the flu virus was floating around, I knew it was only a matter of time before one of us got it. I had everything I needed times ten already at the house. When we got home, Mani went to her room to shower and lay down while I made her some soup.
            "Lay, you're going to have to stay clear of Mani for a few days, okay? I can't have the both of you sick - at least not at the same time," I told her as she watched me move around the kitchen.
            "Don't worry, I don't want get sick," she crunched up her nose.
            "Well, okay sassy. Go get out of those clothes and come back down with you're reading book."
            "Okay," she said, jumping of of the counter.

            "Walk," I called after her, shaking my head as I cut the chicken for Mani's soup.

            "Thanks for dinner, sis," Dionne said as I took her plate.
            "You're welcome, sis." I put the plates in the sink and went back the table with cake, "I hope y'all have room for cake," I said to the table.
            "Ima be fat by the time I leave here," Tay said, reaching for the knife to cut it.
            "How you complain with the knife in your hand? Cake ain't been on the table for two second and she already thinking about her second piece," Pooh told her, making us laugh.
            "You damn right. And I'm taking some home."
            "Well ain't that some shit," Co said with her head cocked to the side.
            While we sat talking and eating cake, I couldn't help but look at the chair Jay would be sitting in if he was here. Somehow, I could hear him laughing with the rest of us at what Tay was saying. My eyes were playing tricks on me when I saw him in the chair looking at me, smiling.
            "What you smiling at, sis?" Kat asked, chewing cake.
            "Nothing," I told her, coming back to reality. "So, how is the planning the next show going?" I asked her and listened as she explained everything to the smallest detail.   
            I looked around the table at my family, thinking about how grateful I was for having all of them.