On The Front Lines

3

"Let's go KJ!" Courtney yelled as the ball went in the hoop and he put up three fingers.

            "Girl, bae is killing it on the court. How old if he, again?" I asked Co.
            "He's seven," she answered following the kids running down the court.
            "Damn."
            "I know, he reminds me of me out there. Look at him, the boy is a beast. Speaking of beast- when is the first track meet? I know Mani burning the track up this season."
            "Next Saturday. She's out for revenge this season. That girl from the Miami Gardens track team better watch out. She wants to do cross country and indoor just to make sure she doesn't lose 'it'. That nut told me 'Well she only won because I was playing softball too last year. But since we moved and I haven't found a team, I'm going to be more focused and put some heat on the track'" I told Co, rubbing my hands together like Bird Man just like Mani did.   
            "She did that?"
            "Yeah, tell your brother stop trying to convert my baby sister into a savage."
            "Did she like the training camp I setup for her?"
            "You mean training tour," I said giving her a side look. "But yes, she was beyond like when we got on the jet. Dude, Carmelita Jeter, Sanya Richards-Ross, and Alison Felix? She literally fainted, twin," I laughed.
    "Hey, to be the best you to learn from the best, right?"
            "True," I said as I checked my buzzing phone. It was Jay asking if I could meet him at the house.
            "That must be Jay Jay, because you zoned all the way out."
            "Yeah, he wants me to meet him at the house. Is there something going on that I don't know about?" I asked with squinted eyes.
            She thought for a second, "Nope, not that I know of. And he knows we're having twin time so how he just gon' call and tell you to come home? I haven't seen you since we got back from Tokyo. That was a month ago."
            "Awe twin, you smell like strawberries," I sniffed the air. "Nope, that's definitely grape," I nodded.
            She gave me a look, "What th- what are you talking about?"
            "You're jealous," I laughed.
            "Bye Bailey," she told me and I laughed as I grabbed my bag.
            "I'll call you and we can meet up after, okay?" I hugged her.
            "Okay, I need to run some stuff by you, anyway. Just come to the pit when y'all finish," she said as we pulled apart.

            "Hey baby," I said to Jason and kissed the side of his face.
            "Hey, he replied flatly.
            It wasn't until I looked around that I realized he was sitting the den but the TV was off and the only light was coming through the cracked blinds.
            "What's up? I thought you were in the office all day," I asked as I began to rub his shoulders.
            "Yeah, I was. I had a meeting today, and after I had to come home and sit here for three hours and think of how I'm going to tell you this."
            I scrunched my eyebrows together, "Tell me what, babe?"
            "It was the government; I'm being drafted into the war."
            When the words left his mouth, my heart stopped. All movement came to a halt.
            "Are you serious? Because this joke's not funny, no," I told him, my New Orleans accent really coming out.
            "I wish I was. They came in the office and told me I have to be at the state capital for a briefing with the governor tomorrow-"
            "TOMORROW!!" I yelled.
            "Baby, calm down-" he tried to tell me but I cut him off.
            "Calm down?! No, you don't get to tell me to calm down, Jason! You told-"

            "Bae! Stop yelling," he raised his voice.
            I took a deep breath before continuing, "Six years ago, I asked you if there would ever be a chance that you have back to the army and you said no. What happened?"
            "You know Trump drove this country in the dirt; now these people, other countries want their money. A country isn't like a company that you can just declare bankrupt and start over from square one. You know all I live for is protecting my family and our future. You know I would give my life for what I love."
            I tilted my head to the right as realization hit. "Did they come to you? Or did you go to them, Jason?"
            "Baby, have you been watching the news?"
            "To hell with the news, answer my question. Did you or did you not enlist yourself in the war? Yes or no."
            He sighed and looked down then back at me. I already knew the answer but I needed to hear him say it.
            "You know I would do anything to protect you, Bailey."
            "But to volunteer to go fight and possibly not come back?" I asked him.
            "They were coming for me anyway, ba-"
            "You don't know that. You don't just make a decision like that without talking to me first. This doesn't just affect you and me; what about Lay? What are you going to tell her? How are you going to explain to your nine year old daughter that her daddy signed up to go fight in a pointless ass war! When we can just move to one of the many properties we have around the world."
            "You don't get it, Bailey. Americans are being denied all over the world. Enemies and allies, they're all coming at us- from every which way. Mexico and Canada not tryna fuck with us. These people aren't making threats anymore, they're acting now. So yes if protecting my family means risking my life," he pointed to himself, "to make sure you and everyone else gets to live theirs, then so be it," he shrugged his shoulders.
            "This is crazy, Jason," I told him as the tears began to form.
            He pulled me into his arms and held me as I cried. "I know baby, I know. I'm sorry but I'm doing what I think is best."
            "When are we going to tell the girls?" I asked while stared into the flames in the fire pit.
            We were sitting outside under the California stars. Jay knew looking at the sky always relaxed me. Up until now, I hadn't said two words. Not because I was mad but because I had a million and one thoughts going through my head. He probably thought I was ignoring him but I was too deep in my thoughts to respond to anything.
            He sighed, "Tomorrow when I get back. It's no use in waiting to tell them. I want to get that over with so we can spend the time before I leave having fun."
            "When are you going to tell Co? You know you can't not tell her" I asked as I turned in his arms and looked up at him.
            "I know; I called her and told her we wanted her and Kat to come over for dinner Saturday night."
            "I'm not ready for her reaction," I told him just thinking about how bad she would flash out.
            "She gon' jump in my shit; I already know," he chuckled a little. He stopped when he noticed me staring. "What?"
            "I'm going to miss hearing your laugh."
            "Come on, bae." He cradled me in his arms and looked me in the eyes. "I'm not going anywhere that I can't come back to you. I'm coming back, I promise. You're my motivation not to get killed-"
            "Jay!"
            "Sorry, wrong choice of words,"
            "You think?"
            He laughed, "Baby, my bad, chill. You know what I'm trying to say, though. The only way I wouldn't come back to you is if GOD himself was standing in front of me and said 'Jason, come on'. Other than that, no one is taking me away from you. I'm coming back."
            "Alive", I added.
            He smiled, "Alive. I love you."
            "I love you too," I told him before he leaned down and kissed me.
            "You ready to go in?"
            I looked at the stars then at him and smiled. "Not just yet."
            He smiled back at me then kissed the top of my head before looking out over the city.

            "Twin, that seafood pasta was delicious. With the crawfish bread and the Bananas Foster; girl I could've died," Courtney said and we all laughed as we sat in the deck.
            "My baby burns in the kitchen," Jay said before sipping his beer. He cleared his throat, "So I asked y'all to come over because we have something really important to tell you."
            "Finally, I get my godchild," Kat exclaimed.
            "Awe, that's cute, a little Jay Jay running around. Congrats, man," Co added, smiling.
            When she said that, it never dawned on me until then that if something did happen, God forbid, we never had the chance to have our own children. Although Lay is legally my daughter and I love her like my own, typically she still isn't mine. I might not ever get to have that experience. The thought alone upset me to the point where I got up and went back in the house. Not even a minute later, I could hear Co yelling.
            When I heard the door open, I turned and saw Kat walk in. She came to me and took the glass of JD out of my hand, sat it on the counter and looked at me.
            "You okay, sis?"
            I sniffled and shook my head, "Do I really have a choice not to be?" I wiped my eyes, "I mean, it's what he wants to do so who am I to stop him? Besides, he won't listen to anything I have to say against it away."
            "Come on, Tee, this is me you're talking to. I know you're struggling to hold it together. You've been acting funny all night. How long before he has to leave?" She asked sitting on the stool next to me.
            "The end of next week. He wants to take the girls to the concert and do some other stuff. I don't know if I can act happy in front of the girls while we're out "having fun" knowing in a week he's not to be here. But he wants them to be at ease when he leaves," I told her and reached for my glass but she pushed it further away. "Lay has been sleeping in the bed with us since he told them Wednesday."
            "How are you taking it, for real?" She asked me.
            "I mean I am sitting here drinking brown, so that should answer that," I told her reaching for the glass again.
            "Bailey," Kat said as she took the glass and poured the rest of it in the sink.
            I sighed and wiped my eyes again. "I-I don't know, Kat. I guess what bothers me the most is the fact that he went and enlisted and didn't even talk to me about it. Then, he's carrying on like everything is fine but it's not. This is tearing me apart. We have so many plans and if he-" I stopped and took a breath. "I just don't want to lose him; He's my back bone. Outside just now when you said that about a baby, I realized I may not ever have that. Even with everything going on right now, there's so much he wouldn't get to see; to experience everything we've worked so hard for. Without him, none of this shit matters," I told her as the tears rolled down my face.
            Before she could say anything, the door opened and in walked Jay and Co. I could tell Co was crying because her eyes were red and puffy. When I looked at Jay and he saw the tears, his face fell.
            "You ready, bae?" Co asked Kat.
            "Yeah," she answered and turned to me, giving me a hug. "Everything is going to work out," she told me before we pulled apart. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"
            I nodded and gave her a weak smile. She went to Jay and Co came to me.
            "It's going to be okay, twin," she told me before letting me go.
            After walking them to the door, Jay came back in the kitchen where I was putting the leftovers in containers.
            "I'm sorry this is hurting you," he said as he leaned against the counter next to me.
            "It's fine, Jay," I told him, avoiding eye contact.
            "You don't even believe that," he told me, moving closer. He took the spoon out of my hand and turned me to him. "Look, I wouldn't leave if I didn't think you would be okay without me for little while."
            "What exactly is your definition of a little while?" I asked him.
            He sighed, "Can you just tell me what's really bothering you about this so much? I know it's more than you're saying; which isn't much."
            I looked in his eyes, the place where I would always see our future. Now, all I saw was my reflection.
            "I can't lose you." I told him honestly. "I can't imagine my life without you. For the last six years, it's been you and me. So for you to tell me you're going to put your life on the line, knowing the realities of you possibly not coming back and expect me to be okay with it, that's a problem for me. You can't control everything. You don't know what's going to happen out there but we both know what could happen and that's what I'm trying to get you to understand. I'm not prepared to not be able to touch you, to not be able to hear your voice, your laugh. I'm not ready to have to live my life without you by my side," I explained to him as more tears fell from my eyes.
            He wiped away my tears and kissed me before pulling me to him as he held me while I cried.