Last_Mami-Bambi

Regret (1 of 5)

As Jacob drove home, he was crying. He was crying about how he'd acted, and what he put Adym through.

He felt like it was his fault. Like he'd had the power to borderline kill, and he used it wrongfully on Adym. Jacob felt like he should be suffering. Jacob just wanted to apologize.

It was too late for him to say sorry. And he couldn't for 5 days.

This is the first chapter describing those 5 days.

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*ring ring ring*

Jacob slammed his fist on the alarm clock. He was red eyed, stuffy, hot, and voiceless from crying at the hospital and at home last night. Jacob was hit hard inside when the doctor told him the news, but he was also strong on the inside from all the hurt he'd experienced in the past.

The man had to go to work that day, but he was so sad he didn't go. He didn't even call in. The man just sent a text message to his boss about what happened.

Jacob slowly but eventually moved into the shower. He was only able to stand in the hot water thinking about Adym.

Jacob's thoughts:

Why? Why did I put Adym through so much. Now he's in the hospital. Just ridiculous. You put your best friend in the hospital, are you serious?!!

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Jacob's thoughts ran to other things of his past. He started to regret a lot of things. Even though when he thought about regretting it, he felt sick and dumbfounded, the first that popped in his head was coming out.

He'd only wish he hadn't was because of his circumstances, the way his mother treated him, the way some of his family treated him, how many friendships were wrecked and sunken, and being an outsider all throughout high school.

But when he did regret it, he became ill feeling. Like someone punched him in the stomach, or a nauseating smell overwhelmed him. To him, that someone punched him in the stomach for denying himself and putting himself under the worms that wallow the earth in value. It was like regretting coming out was something a silly child would do, and the mother beat obedience and maturity into them.

He also regretted what he'd done to his brother.

When Jacob was just born, he was still living with his biological mother. He had lived with her for about 5 years, then that loving home turned him away.

Jacob and his brother, Brennan, always played rough. In fact one time, they'd broken a vase in a wedding they went to in the Sistine Chapel. The boys had gotten in major trouble together, but were never disciplined equally. Jacob had always been loved more than Brennan, but that changed too.

But anyway, the brothers were playing rough one day. After a while they'd been called to eat lunch. Following that, Brennan wanted to play some more, but Jacob felt really full and on his own went to lay down. (Even then he'd been strong, inside and out, especially when their dad left.) Brennan was still playing when Jacob laid down, just as rough as before. Then Brennan came into Jacob's room. Brennan had ended up waking up Jacob up with their mini poodle, Miley; a monster truck; 4 small, hot wheels type cars; and by jumping on Jacob's bed. After Brennan got on Jacob's bed, Jacob had had enough. He began to throw things at Brennan, most of them stuffed animals. Then a pencil, then a sterling silver, blue Teletubby alarm clock with a broken antenna. Unfortunately, the alarm clock hit Brennan in the head, antenna first.