Physical Temptation

Untitled Part 2( let nature take it's course)

Jessalyn's Pov.

 I kept seeing more of him, around school we would just give a small glance at each other before i turn my head down toward the ground pretending to be admiring the prefect flawless stone carving, when in reality,  I was just trying to cool my heart rate by slowing my breathing. Man it took longer than i thought considering I could feel his eyes on me. I wonder if he knows what he does to me? God I don't even know what happens to me when he's around, he isn't that bad of a guy. Is he?  God i feel he knows. He starting calling my name and when we passed each other forcing me to look up at him except my eyes met his, and it remained there for awhile, until i felt external eyes on me, then I would readjust  my focus and fasten my paste until I was safely out of sight. Oh god I had to get it out I had to tell someone, someone whom I trust someone whom i can alway count on to be rational about life, someone to set me on the right part again, well that's non other than Genette . If you thought Rachel McAdams was mean well Genette is worse but you can always count on her to be honest , even though she get on my nerves, I love her like a sister, she doesn't always get me, but like I said I can always count on her. So i decided to approach her , us being both library prefects it took placed in the library since that was our safe haven, Oh did I mention Julian and Genette go way back so far back as to be living in the same general area, yeah I felt bad cuz before I could even finish she begun, I guess she really knows me enough to know where I'm going with this," Julian, he isn't a nice person GabbyJessalyn, you see how much girls he does be with the people he surrounds himself with...." she when on but i refuse to allow anything else in " Yeah, I know but still" I begun before I was cut across by her again, " No but Jess you wanna be a next girl in his parade of girls." she snapped at me , " OH GOSH NOT SO LOUD!" I whispered yelled at her. even there amounts the shelves in the dark while ,"Nerve" was going on the all the students that filled that darkest length of the room turned to look at us. " OKAY! OKAY! I know what I have to do " I said feeling disappointed within but kept a thin smile plasted on my face to please the onward lookers as well as Genette. Yeah I knew exactly what I had to do get over it, It was too real to be true him and me, we, we're, I mean we are total opposite. Thankfully I had alot of help, alot of distractions from my mental debate, gladly SBA needed to be handed in with very short time, I was on overdrive and over load  but I didn't notice , yeah people around they crashed I didn't know why I mean it was so easy, well atleast for me anyways. It became something almost natural to bury myself in work to not feel anything. How joyful , I guess you can say I'm a workaholic. I was just so consumed in helping other with their problem I forgot mine, I realized that mine shouldn't be even called problems, well neither could their's if you consider the child of the nation , homeless , the hungry yet I saw people take what they have for granted each day , at time I feel like just walking up to then and pour my heart and soul in to them because teenagers as well as adult consider the tiniest things a problem when compared within the walls of the country its a stone in the Caribbean a pebble worldwide a speck, maybe it me, maybe it my way of think, my up bring, I guess this, this knowledge is my fuel, fuel to achieve greatness, the needing to study medicine , i guess i never thought of it this way before. My point is he wasn't even on my mind well not until we see each other anyways, he kept on smiling and calling my name when he passed the staring continued, my heart raced, but that it, I wasn't allowed to feel anymore, I couldn't. He wasn't making this easy on me since it seemed like everywhere I went he was there always sneaking glances at me or maybe he was just watching someone near me, behind me, or simply just lost in his own world , a world i would never be invited into, a world I only imagine, as the day passed by I continue to see more of him in ways I couldn't bare to see any more.could it be jealousy ? Maybe! After countless battles with my heart my mind won the war. even doh the rush of adrenaline never stopped or decreased with time,  so I did the next best thing , I started hating him. I hated the way he was with this girls, different one each thing, I hated the way he made me feel, the power he had over my emotions, over me, the way he didn't realized but just watched on like it was normal, normal to do as he pleased with any girl. God I was spiraling out of control yet my external body showed no effect, it was like my internal mental break down  had no effect, I couldn't go to Genette  she had made it clear what I had to do , I had no one to confide in , no one else would understand, not to this extent that I was in , I would have had to explain everything from begin to end , hell I didn't even know what went on , what's going on, or what will go on, yeah that's how bad I got it. It's not love , I don't like him cause I never did before , so why would i say now right the only logical explanation was my teenage hormones.... Hmm could I really get what I wanted killing two birds with one stone? was it even fair? could it be ? would he even agree? hmm ...

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