The Piano Man (Iwaoi)

Chapter 13

        Tooru kept the lights dim and heard himself offer to make tea, without even considering actually making it. He didn't feel as if he were in his home, in this world, even in this dimension. He forced everything out of his mind except for the feeling of Ushiwaka's hand in his, because if he let anything else slip through the house of cards he had concocted would crumble in an instant. Ushiwaka followed, eyes never leaving Tooru. He didn't even give Ushiwaka a chance to take his jacket off before he led him toward the stairs, climbed up dazily, and stumbled into his room (asked if Ushiwaka wanted tea? did Ushiwaka say no?). He stood at the edge of his bed with his arms at his side, watching, waiting, as Ushiwaka gently closed the door behind him. His hand moved toward the light switch.

        "No," Tooru said, "don't turn the lights on."

        Ushiwaka lowered his hand obediently. Tooru stared at him for a few moments, their eyes adjusting to the darkness. There must have been something glistening there in Tooru's eyes, something beckoning, because Ushiwaka walked over to him and cupped his face in his hands. Softly, delicately, as if with his large hands he was handling something precious and fragile. In the darkness, Tooru could see the shadows playing on Ushiwaka's sharp face, lighting up his eyes. His fingers at the corners of Tooru's eyes, his thumbs stroking his cheeks, were like velvet. Satin. Felt like Chopin in a concert hall, Beethoven out on the veranda.

        "If you kiss me and leave, I won't forgive you," Tooru whispered.

        "Never again."

        When Ushiwaka kissed him, and Tooru's eyes fluttered closed like butterfly wings, his body became prickly and languid. Ushiwaka's grip tightened as he fell further into the kiss, forcing Tooru's neck to arch slightly back. Tooru couldn't help, then, grasping with his trembling red fingers the front of Ushiwaka's shirt and pulling him closer. His mind had lost all capacity to think, his heart frozen and still—it was his body now. His body and his dried up soul. Kissing and being kissed by someone with calloused palms, soft lips and a tongue that tasted of wheat. Tooru opened his mouth so that he could be kissed harder and deeper, so that Ushiwaka would push himself. As Ushiwaka's thick tongue slid smoothly into Tooru's mouth, he pushed him back, gently, until they were sitting on the edge of the bed. Tooru's hands moved of their own accord—down to the hem of Ushiwaka's shirt, his undershirt, then up against his bare skin. It was hot. Tooru almost withdrew his hands for fear that he would burn them. But then his palms felt comfort and he dug them deeper.

        Next thing he knew, he had taken Ushiwaka's shirt off and wrapped his legs around his waist, arms propped up on his shoulders. He wrapped a slender, shaking arm around the back of Ushiwaka's neck and dug his nails into his shoulder blade. Pressed his hips down against Ushiwaka's crotch. Their lips parted and Ushiwaka let out a long, low sigh, lips glistening. He buried his head in Tooru's neck and kissed it. Tooru felt that he could let his entire body go limp and Ushiwaka would support him, steady him. Ushiwaka's hands smoothly, softly caressed his body and his tongue was slow and wet on his neck. Tooru's body shuddered, swerved in a pleased and involuntary response. He wanted to whisper dirty things in Ushiwaka's ear, wanted to see his face turn red and hear the shattering beat of his telltale heart. One hand still gripping his back, Tooru brought his other hand up and ran his fingers through Ushiwaka's hair. Cropped short, bristly. He wanted Ushiwaka to never stop kissing his neck.

        "Mm," Tooru sighed, arching his neck back to give Ushiwaka's tongue more space. He swiped it up beneath his chin, then kissed his jaw. The corner of his mouth. His upper lip, his lower lip. While his hands continued to caress and make Tooru's skin crawl in bliss.

        Tooru kissed him back and he imagined that his lips tasted like lust. His hand started to trace Ushiwaka's muscles—maybe they were like Hajime's.