The Piano Man (Iwaoi)

Chapter 18

        Once, on one of Ushiwaka's rare days off, he and Tooru decided to spend the day inside. It was a beautiful summer day but Tooru complained about the heat, about how sweat never looked good on his skin, so Ushiwaka relented despite his quiet desires to go for a picnic. They stayed in Tooru's house, music encasing them. Tooru woke him up with sweet, slow sex and butterfly kisses, murmurs of fake love on his gullible lips. But sometimes, Tooru did feel it. That maybe he could love Ushiwaka, because if anybody deserved his love and devotion it was Wakatoshi Ushijima. Because Wakatoshi Ushijima knew how to love him, knew how to hold him and make him feel physical pleasure and emotional affection all at once. It was a beautiful feeling that he didn't quite feel he deserved.

        Ushiwaka was in the kitchen, making coffee, while Tooru moved around the room like a little bird that had just learned to fly. Arms spread out, on the tip of his bare toes, because the sun coming in through the windows inspired him and made him feel light. The smell of coffee and lemonade invigorated him. After putting the cups of fresh coffee on the table, Ushiwaka reached out and wrapped his arms around Tooru, swayed with him, kissed his neck over and over and over until Tooru's laugh was ringing out.

        "How did I get so lucky?" he murmured.

        "I was drunk."

        Ushiwaka paused, and Tooru couldn't help but roll his eyes.

        "I'm kidding, babe."

        "Will you play something for me?"

        "If you bring me my coffee."

        Tooru moved to the piano room, and Ushiwaka gripped his hands until the last second. Until his fingers slipped and he floated away. He grabbed the mugs of coffee and followed. As Tooru planted himself before the piano, his fingers hovering, as if dusting off the keys that Tobio had kept from gathering dust in the first place, Ushiwaka sat down in the chair next to him and put the coffee on the piano.

        "Ah-ah! Not on the piano."

        "Sorry, sorry."

        He held the two cups like Tooru asked.

        "What do you want me to play?"

        "Something sweet. Not too sad."

        "I'll play Valse de l'adieu for you. You like that one, don't you?"

        Ushiwaka, not even smiling, nodded. Tooru leaned forward and kissed those stoic lips.

        "All right."

        He positioned his hands above the piano and ran through the notes in his head. Spots of sunlight dotted the piano, as if lighting up for him the notes he needed to play. He played the first note, felt the slight ache in his fingers, but ignored it and fell into the piece.

        That was how he played. He let himself fall off the cliff into the canyon, and suddenly he was surrounded by music and there was nothing else. Only him, spinning and soaring through the chords and the scales and the trills, the arpeggios, the cadences, the piano and the pianoforte and the lento and the scherzando. This piece wasn't terribly fast, or terribly sad. It was in A-flat major, so that was natural. It was a bit melancholy though. It was about farewells, not bad, bitter farewells but good, sweet farewells. Farewells nonetheless. Tooru had played it at his last concert and loved it. It was a piece he had known for a very long time. A piece he had loved for a very long time. He always felt both a little sad and a little uplifted when he played it. That's why he had chosen it for his last concert. He had dreamed of Chopin sitting next to him, rubbing his back and whispering in his ear, Grasz pięknie, Tooru. Dziękuję Ci. Today, he didn't feel Chopin, though. Only Wakatoshi Ushijima. Humming beside him. Making his heart swell.