Undercover - A Hamliza Story Completed ✅

CHAPTER 5

It's noon, I haven't eaten since last night, nor have I haven't gotten out of bed. I can't make myself do it. I have no reason to get up, my heart hurts too much. I know that if I get up I will have to see Alexander walk around looking innocent and oblivious too it all. I have no idea what my reaction will be when I see him. I continue to lay down for a few more minutes then I decide to get up. I know I will have to face him sooner or later. I look at myself in the mirror and I see that I don't look like myself. My eyes are baggy and puffy from crying. My hair is in a disheveled bun that I know is tangled. I stare at myself more and I realize that I don't recognize myself. I am lost. I don't know who I am anymore. I'm not the same happy, optimistic, sassy Eliza. I'm the new and improved heartbroken, lost, hurt, and confused Eliza. I can't look at myself anymore so I turn away, put on my black shawl, and head downstairs. I take my time going down each step. I try to listen to what's going on hoping that I don't hear his voice. I reach the bottom and I just see Angelica playing chess with Phillip. For a moment I forget my worries and my despair and look at the sweet sight of my two favorite people. They both look up at me. Angelica with a look of sympathy and Phillip looks at me with a look of excitement.
"Mommy!" He shouts while running up to hug me. He wraps his arms around my waist. I hug him tightly back looking down at his curly locks.
"You look tired, are you alright?" I mentally frown at the question knowing that I have to lie to him about his father's whereabouts. That I have to lie about my true feelings.
"Oh yes, I'm fine." I say my voice breaking as I speak. He nods and lets go of me. He walks back toward Angelica and the chess board.
"Do you want to play next? I bet you can't beat me!"
"I-"
"Actually Phillip, lets continue this game later. I need to talk to your mother in private." Angelica says looking at me then to Phillip.
"Okay." Angelica and I watch as he walks upstairs, then listening for the sound of his door closing. We both know that he can't know what we're talking about. He's too young.
Angelica gets up from the floor and hugs me tightly making me sob. She lets go of my embrace and looks at me with such understanding. She gets me a handkerchief from her pocket, then we both sit down at the dining room table.
"Where is he?" I ask still wiping my tears away.
"I don't know." She shakes her head. He didn't come home last night. "He must be...." She drifts off not finishing her sentence. She knows, we both know, what we're talking about.
"Tomorrow's Saturday, we don't have to go-"
"No." I pause. "We're going."
"Eliza, you don't have to do this to yourself. You're hurting, bad. What else do you need to see?"
"I know, but I need to go back. I need to know why. There has to be a reason."
Angelica nods. We sit in silence but we can both hear our gears turning.
"When are you going to confront him?"
"I don't know." I pause. "But I do know it's not today."
Angelica nods once more, then she says:
"It's going to be hard. Seeing him and knowing what you know. You have to be strong. You can't let him know you're hurting so when you do confront him, it'll be a nice kick in his ass." Those words make me smile. I mentally agree with her and she knows that I agree. I start to walk towards the kitchen, we both hear to door open. I know exactly who it must be. I stay turned towards the doorway facing the kitchen.
"Hi Angelica!" He says happily. I hear his footsteps and his musky cologne coming towards me.
"Eliza." He says trying to hug me. Once I feel his hand on my shoulder, I move away and run into the kitchen. I place my hands on the countertop to help me balance. I keep my head up to try and stop the tears from falling. I hear him coming closer to me, but the footsteps stop.
"Don't." Angelica says. I assume Angelica stopped him. I hear the footsteps becoming distant. I continue to keep my head up, trying to control my breath. I breath deeply to stop myself from breaking down in front of him. As much as I want to, I can't.
"What's going on? I....I don't understand..."
I hear Alexander say in the distance.
"She's dealing with a lot right now, just...leave her be."
"What's she dealing with? What's-I don't understand, is it....is it something I said?"
More like something you did.
"Leave.her.be." I hear Angelica's footsteps coming closer to the kitchen. I feel a hand on my shoulder, making me jump a bit. I hear feet going up the stairs and a slam of a door. I turn to face Angelica, and once my eyes meet hers, I break down.
"I can't." I say trying to catch my breath.
"I can't, I can't I can't, I can't!" I shake my head and hide my face from her. Angelica places both of her hands on my shoulders and bends down to meet my gaze and says:
"You can." She pauses. "Eliza you are so strong and brave....and powerful. I know you feel like giving up, but you have to stay strong. If you want to find out why... you need to take care of yourself first. You need a break. We aren't going to go tomorrow. You and I can do something together, get you out of the house. Okay?" I nod and hug my sister tightly so I tight that I have to hold my breath. But I don't mind.