The Nearest Heaven

Part 14 - Opening Up

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Part 14 – Opening up

"Faraaz," her voice was soft as tears leaked from the corners of her chocolate eyes. Her voice was small, delicate and every octave of it hinted at her fragile state of mind. She was broken.

But broken did not mean useless. Broken meant there was a sign of hope, a chance of improvement and a chance of repair.

Her chocolate eyes fell on his thick fingers that were curled around her hand. His hand was a lot paler than hers, despite even his thick brush of hair coating his arms. "You've..." she paused and then swallowed loudly. "You've grown a lot due to therapy!" she said happily. "I'm really so, so ecstatic for you!"

"Thank you," he replied bashfully. His cheeks flushed and he lowered his gaze as much as was possible. He tried squeezing her fingers again, but he only managed to weakly grip her hands tighter. It was a miniscule second of warmth that she did not have before. Butterflies erupted in his stomach the longer he held onto her soft hand. He wanted to tell her so many things, but in fear of sounding cheesy or needy, Faraaz held back.

How could he tell her that he fell in love with her within six months? Wouldn't it seem weird? What would her reaction be like? Would she feel awkward? Would she feel burdened and indebted to him? Would she think that he was weird for falling in love? How could he tell her that she was a light in his life? Would telling her that he loves her burden her with the guilt? Force her to run once his sister got bored of trying to kill both him and Fadiyah?

"It is all because of you." The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could think it through. His eyes widened and he hurried to think of something to say that would make sense. Once again, he felt the heat rush up his body, staining his neck, cheeks and ears red with embarrassment. "I mean, you were the one who was insistent on me attending and having therapists. You encouraged and motivated me. This minute progress is all thanks to you."

Fadiyah denied it vehemently by shaking her head side to side. "No, no, Faraaz. I had nothing to do with it." Her cheeks deepened its natural hue to a deep red as she blushed from the praise. She averted her eyes and avoided looking at him.

'Yes, you did,' he yearned to say. 'You made me want to be a better man for you. You saw me as a man, not as an invalid. You looked beyond my insecurities and beyond my inabilities, you looked at me as someone worthy of you. You made me feel alive.'

"Fadiyah," he called gently. He was craving her to look at him. After all her days spent in seclusion, he wanted to feast his eyes on her, to admire her beauty and her hidden strength. "You did," he insisted. "You made me see the importance of getting physically healthier."

Faraaz noted how she seemed to consciously avoid looking at him even though she blushed even redder at his words. A small smirk curled up and settled on her face as she tried to shake off his words. She was denying any involvement in his progress.

"Aaban was the light in my life," he admitted to her. "He drew me away from much of the contemplation of suicide, Fadiyah." He gulped loudly, as tears welled in his eyes. He exhaled, as if he was trying to centre himself and find his train of thought. The next words burned at his throat, trying to claw their way out. "But you, Fadiyah," the way her name leaves his mouth is like a caress of silk against soft skin. "You were my reason to hold on and fight on. You gave me hope to live."

Her wide chocolate eyes shot up and stared at him. They gazed at his, wondering and trying to decipher if there was an iota of truth in his words. He saw her doubt his words, he saw her resolve strengthen against the possibility that she could have done anything good for him.