The Nearest Heaven

Part 36 - Inconsequential Goodbyes

Part 36 – Inconsequential Goodbyes

"Every soul shall taste death."

~ Surah An-Nisa, verse 78.

Over the next week, Fadiyah and Faraaz alternated the days to visit Aaban in hospital. The hospital, as usual, had that sick smell to it which made Fadiyah feel queasy. She didn't know if it was the smell of the medication that remained ingrained into the bricks and tiles of the hospital, or if it was the thick, overwhelming, nose-hair burning scent of the patients had seeped into the bedding of the sick.

The dull paint on the walls of Aaban's room became brighter with the cards and letters that Safaa had sent to her brother. Faraaz and Fadiyah ensured that Aaban received flowers and chocolates every day of his stay so that his room looked slightly better than before. Faraaz had requested that the flowers be delivered every day by a new superhero. Once Faraaz had seen how excited the other children in Aaban's room became on seeing the new costumes of the delivery man, Faraaz had made certain that each child in the ward received flowers so that they, too, could meet the superhero.

The bed sheets crinkled and Fadiyah turned to look at Aaban. He was smaller than she had ever seen him. He was sickly pale, as if he had too little blood being pumped through his small body. Immediately she beamed at him, not wanting him to see the worry burned into her skin. "Hey, big guy," she greeted brightly.

His chocolate eyes lit up and he tried to smile with the oxygen mask on his face. "Fadiyah!" he grinned once he noticed that they were alone. "I missed having you here!"

She giggled and pulled out some of the desserts she brought for him. "It's only been two days, Aaban! I was a slightly busy trying to get you all of these desserts made."

Aaban tried to sit up, but the weight of the heart monitor pulled him back. Within a heartbeat, Fadiyah had him comfortably lying down as she readjusted the upper half of his hospital bed. "Is that better?" she asked and then placed the desserts on the tray for him to enjoy.

"It is!" His excitement and enthusiasm had Fadiyah grinning like a fool. "Thank you, thank you, thank you so much!" Aaban's eagerness was contagious and Fadiyah found that she liked being in his presence when he was happy, when he was smiling.

She didn't know how many days more of chirpiness, energy and bright bold words he had left in him, so she was prepared to spoil him and handle the backlash from his parents. He was steadily growing weaker and weaker. Every time that she visited him, she spent an hour at home crying. Aaban was not even ten years old and already he was struggling through far too much in life.

"I am so tired of custard and jelly! It is like shaped flavoured water with yellow water poured over! It's disgusting!" he whined as he peeled off the cover Fadiyah had placed on the chocolate mousse, sprinkled with nuts and extra chocolate pieces and whipped cream in one corner. "This is amazing! I love you, aunty Diyah!" he shouted out happily as he sunk his spoon into the mousse.

The happiness glowed within Fadiyah's chest like a small, bright sun. Her Aaban, her personal sun was leaving her, and she didn't know what to do besides sit by his bed and make dua. Every single dua that she could think of. Fadiyah knew that this would be one of her last visits to see Aaban. She couldn't handle seeing him deteriorate so rapidly.

Then, she realised just how selfish she was acting. She regarded him as her child, despite him not actually being her child, but what would his parents feel like? How could they bear to see their child get so sick, so incredibly and devastatingly weak? How could they cope with the idea of the fact that they may have to bury their son, and that it won't be the other way around? No parent liked the idea of burying their child.