Rachael Entry 4: Apart

Chapter 31

As we walk down the street I feel that all eyes are on me, but not purely me and instead my wrapped up hand. Nurse Jackie asked me if I could feel anything in my hand when I first woke up and I told her 'nothing different' but every time I wiggle my fingers I feel the absence of the others. I'll be okay though, nurse Jackie told me to come to her each week for physical therapy. It's been said that I'm taking this well since I've already relearned how to shoot a gun. Even if that's true I feel emotionless about the whole thing. Eden told me it was a big deal and that I was crying and screaming when I was brought back but I don't remember anything but the sound of my name being called out.

"Hey." Tom nudges me, "Are you okay being out here?"

"Gotta be." I shrug, "Who else is going to do this?"

"Literally anybody else. You think you're the only one who can shoot a gun?" Peter scoffs in my face.

"Ease up man, she's had it hard lately. I dunno if you heard about it but a lot of people died recently and-"

"Whatever, she's not the only one who's 'having a hard time lately'" Peter cuts Tom off and walks ahead of us, steaming.

"Sorry, he can be a hardass sometimes. You know...some people don't mix with apocalypse." Tom advocates.

"Yeah I get it but he didn't have to be like that" I say.

"Well I'm sorry." Tom apologizes again.

"If you're not him, why are you apologizing for him?" I ask.

"It's complicated-" Tom starts before he's interrupted by some lazy moans. We both shoot our heads in the direction of the noise. Before I can register anything Will yells commands from behind the both of us, "Shit...GET THAT THING AWAY FROM RACHAEL!"

I squint my eyes to make out the familiar face that doesn't look so kind and loving anymore. His orangey red hair still sits on top of his head but that seems to be the only thing that's the same. He no longer stands tall like he used to nor do his teeth look as white in this demented smile. His eyes aren't gray anymore and instead a dark red or almost brown. Miles is no longer Miles. I feel a tear fall down my face, the first emotion I've felt since it all.

I subconsciously pull my knife out from my holder and get into position to kill the thing that took over Miles. Will is still trying to get someone to kill the corpse of Miles but everyone is too shocked to kill a fallen ally.

"I've got this." I brokenly assure Will as I proceed forward. Miles limps toward me with his one good leg and the other leg that has been bitten multiple times. The only reason why he was able to become a functional corpse was probably due to the the fact that commander Joseph was bitten in the handoff of me between him and Jeffery. The corpses got him as soon as I was transferred from one arm to another according to Annika.

I brush all of the thoughts away as I approach my dead friend. As I raise my hand a figure comes up from behind Miles and stabs down on his head.

"No!" I utter as more tears fill my eyes.

"Who are you?" I hear several guns click from behind me at Jeffery's questions but I'm too focused on the limp and lifeless corpse of Miles.

"I'm Sam, I mean no harm. See? I just killed one of those dead for you." She points to Miles on the ground.

"Thanks but no thanks, we had that handled...he was one of ours." Jeffery discloses to her.

"Aw...sorry sweetie." She apologizes realizing what she took away from me, but I don't respond and continue to stare into Mile's dead eyes.

"You got any people with you?" Jeffery asks.

"No, I'm alone out here." She responds

"Bull, you're just some frail girl. You're gunna tell us that you've been out here alone for two years?" Peter interjects.

"I didn't say that..." Sam vaguely replies, "Look I'm just looking for some refuge, I can move on if you won't allow it."

"No, you're already here. I can't let you keep walking now that you know there's a group in the area. We'll bring you back and keep you safe for at least a little while." Jeffery sighs.

"Thank you." She smiles.

I open my eyes in my dark room from my hellish nightmare. Breathing heavily I turn to my side half expecting Sam to be sleeping in the bed next to me, but to my relief they are not there. I reach for my light and sit myself up in my bed. These two months have been aggravating and I wouldn't mind if a corpse slipped through and ate me in my sleep. For some reason I have the urge to wander out and explore the zone at an unreasonable hour so I pull of the covers and walk out of bed.

I grab a sweater and close the door to my room not bothering to put on my glove. As I exit the building it seems that no one else can sleep. Wjen I saw the herd I handed the binoculars back to Will and went to bed. I told Harry to have hope but how can we if we're going to be surrounded...I wonder how he's doing. Well I know how he's doing actually, no need to wonder.

The dining hall is crowded with people, relatively speaking, and amid them all I see Will directing a conversation. My aimless stroll around campus now turns into a search for knowledge about our situation as I enter the cafeteria.

"I say we go out there and kill those sons of guns!" A student, who clearly still attends classes, shouts above the conversation. A couple nods and hoots sound in agreement, but I just roll my eyes.

"It's not that simple," I speak up, "you can't go out there and kill even 8 corpses by yourself."

"Who said I was going alone?" He responds confidently. A couple of his buds push, hive-five, and cheer him on demonstrating they're up to risk their lives for his poorly thought out plan.

"Even if you got everybody who could fight out there that still wouldn't be enough. We've just suffered two losses and another one from a month ago of some pretty strong people so we're down in the 90s. Now we need people on the roofs saving people from close calls, let's say that's 12 people. Down to approximately 78. Now the children. We can't let children bare arms. Not only is that inhumane, like we care though, but it's dangerous. We have about 27 kids. 51 people outside the walls. The injured, the sick, and the maimed: we have 10 of those and I'll count myself just to be a major dick, 11! 40 people fighting at close combat. Let's also look to who's willing to fight, not everybody so we're now down to maybe 25 people. 25 people against a herd of hundreds of hungry monsters is just 25 more people dead."

Silence fills the room as everyone realizes how fucked we are.

"Well it's kind of hard to take you seriously if you're in your pajamas." He retorts back trying to make the situation a whole lot less melancholy.

"You better listen to me instead of making those snide remarks or you'll be dying in those jeans." I point at his disgusting choice of fashion.

"Well? What's your solution debby downer?" Jeffery pipes up from a back corner. I don't know how he got his hands on it but he's smoking a cig. I'm perplexed and can't find a way to respond.

"We stay deathly quiet and try to get majority of them away." Will says.

"Right," I jump in following behind, "and when most of them are past us we sound the buzzers and get some engines to drive them away so we don't have to tiptoe around the campus for the rest of our lives."

"Well, let's write this shit down then." Jeffery backs up off the wall and puts out his cig and we start to get to work.