Another Broken Eternity

selfish

you know, i didn't mean for this.
didn't mean for you to act like i don't exist.
didn't mean for me not to know what the problem is.
didn't mean to —fuck it, you know the list.

but is it selfish
to want one thing to be about me?
is it selfish
for having one stupid dream?

am i selfish for wanting something?
is it selfish to be tired of getting nothing?
never mind, i guess it never really mattered,
i'll just shut up and keep my thoughts scattered.

because in the end, i'm the one standing alone:
a mess and confused in this empty home.
and everything about me, you've always known
but it's easier to forget and leave it alone.

you know i'll take a step back
just so that you can relax
and then we can all act
like nothing ever happened.

because it didn't, did it?
no.
we can just forget about it.
so,

i'll be the one screaming aloud
and making no sound
i'm lost, can't be found
i'm falling to the ground.

look at me: i'm broken
and hurting from all this hoping.
feels like i'm in a room and locked in
the walls are painted with all my sins.

but now i'm waking up
and giving up
i've had enough
times are tough.

is it selfish for wanting something?
in the end, it's a dumb question.