Stories and Other Random Things

/Chapter #1/

Diary of a Genetic Freak

/Chapter #1/

'Come on, Cheyenne. You can do this.'

"Close your eyes and concentrate on stopping his heart." The doctor's voice rang in my ears as the electric shock ran through my veins. My body tensed and I concentrated harder on doing as I was told. The shock had worn off and the three doctors were all watching, waiting to see what I would do. I wanted to be free of these restraints, I wanted nothing more than to smash all their faces in, but I never have gotten what I wanted. Its either do as you are told or face the consequences. And the consequences are not something I want, no one does.

I took a deep breath and slowly let it out, waiting for the dizziness of being tuned into another persons body. There is always an uncomfortable sensation, but the rush that comes with having so much power over rules it. Stopping someone's heart is the hardest and takes the most energy, but the doctors seem so sure that I can do it. Of course I will try my damnedest to do as they say, but it doesn't stop the guilt.

The guilt of knowing that I killed another person. The guilt of not being strong enough to hold out, to resist the pain and not take an innocent life, again. Everyday since I've been here they have me attack someone new and everyday I end up killing that person. Either that or turning them into a vegetable, but is there really any difference? Why stay breathing if you can do nothing? I don't see the point, but then again no one ever asks my opinion, except Reena.

"Concentrate! Or do you want another?" I cringed at the anger in her voice and concentrated on the boy in front of me. I didn't know him, but that doesn't make it any easier. 'No, stop it Cheyenne! Concentrate.'

My eyes locked with his and I felt the now familiar sensation. The scene in front of me changed into the inside of his body. I was vaguely familiar that my eyes had changed from their normal blue to a deep purple. The laughing in the background seemed so far away, the screams nothing but an after thought. I thought if this boy's heart and how I wanted it to stop beating. How I wanted his breath to stop, his body to be nothing more than a lifeless vessel. His heart beats slowed from their normal speed and slowed.

Thump.... Thump.... Thump.... Thump....... Then nothing.

My eyes adjusted back to the normal scene and I fought to keep the bile in my throat. Hurling all over the place would do no good, I would only have to clean it up. The boy's body sat in the chair in front of me empty of life. No soul left, nothing but a empty shell. His eyes stared into my, except where there was once fear there was now nothing. Dead, is the only way I can describe it. His chest that was once heaving, straining to gather oxygen was now still.

"Excellent. She's progressing at an incredible rate. Soon she'll be ready for combat." The director's voice was devoid of any emotion. I doubted she even knew what feeling was. "Take her back to her cell. I don't want to watch as she weeps."

Yes I cried, I cried every time. It was the only way for me to get out my feelings. Yelling did nothing, but piss them off, and fighting back only landed you in a straight jacket. So as you can see arguing in any way is unsuccessful.

The doctor's unhooked the restraints and pulled me out of the chair. They half dragged me out of the testing room and back to my cell. They weren't rough but they weren't exactly kind about it either. But its not like they cared if you received bruises from their hands. Hell, that's the least they do to some of the kids here.

Once at my cell the doctor on the right let go of my arm long enough to unlock the door, before grabbing my arm harshly and pushing me through. The door slammed smacking my back causing me to fall flat on my face. Their boots hitting the floor was all I heard for a few moments, but when you room with Reena the silence never lasts.

"Are you okay?" I looked up and noticed that she was completely invisible, except for her clothes. "You know I thought you'd have learned by now. They don't wait for you to get out of the way." Her voice held amusement and concern at the same time. She knew what they forced me to do and how I felt about it.

"I'm fine." I snapped. Pulling myself up from the floor I walked to my small cot on the left side of the room. It was barely big enough for a small child, and even though I'm small I still don't fit.

"Alright. Dinner's in an hour. They kept you there longer today. You usually get back before me." Her sentences were short and her breathing was shallow. Signs that she was still hopped up on the drugs they'd given her to stay visible.

I nodded and pulled my diary out of my pillow case, settling down on the cot to write.

"You know I heard Zadeyn attacked a guard today." She said once she was visible, her fire red hair falling in her bright green eyes. Her sentence sparked my interest, as she knew it would, and I settled in to listen as she explained what happened while I was being tested.

Soon her story was over and the dinner bell rang. Guards unlocked the doors one at a time, walking its occupants to the cafeteria before unlocking the next. When our door opened Reena dragged me to the cafeteria ahead of the very annoyed guards.

"Come on, before the pudding's gone!" She squealed pulling me to the buffet tables. The one good thing about this place would have to be the food. Everything is made by a professional chef that is being payed way too much.

I just sighed and picked up a bottle of water, my appetite would take a while to come back after today. Hopefully I would get a break tomorrow.

"Dude, don't tell me you going anorexic on us." Natasha said when we sat down at the table. Natasha can read a person's mind from 3 miles away, even if she doesn't want to.

"No I just don't have much of an appetite today." She nodded understandingly and turned her attention to Avian and Mac's argument over potato chips. I put my head down and closed my eyes, instantly regretting it. The boy's eyes flashed through my mind and I couldn't get the dead look on his face out of my mind.

"You okay cupcake?" Mac's a big guy, but contrary to what most people think he's really just a big puppy dog.

"Yea, I'm fine. Just tired, I guess." He nodded and patted my shoulder.

"Cheyenne, Zadeyn's staring at you, again." I followed Reena's gaze to where the boy in question was sitting at a table in the back corner all by himself. His eyes locked with mine and I couldn't look away. Where my eyes were blue his were black and cold looking.

Today was the third time he was staring at me and I couldn't help but think, why?

Dear Diary,

Two months and two days. Is it sad that I've got nothing to do in my spare time but count the days? Maybe, but it keeps me sane. It makes me feel as though at least some part of my life is normal. Normal, what does that word even mean? What's normal to some is crazy to others. Who are we to say what is normal and not?

Back on topic, today I killed again. What's that make 11, 12? I think I've lost count. The guilt is there but I've just stopped thinking of it as murder. Its not like I've got a choice in the matter, that is unless I want to be beaten to the point that I'd beg for death to come.

We've got a training session tomorrow and from what I've over heard from the doctors they're putting us in pairs. I don't have a clue as to what we're going to be doing, but I don't think I want to know, either. What's the saying? 'What you don't know can't hurt you?' I don't think that really applies here, but its the only thing I can think of that makes even a smidgen of sense.

Maybe things will change, get better. I doubt it but I can always hope right?

Sincerely, Cheyenne.

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