Billdip Oneshots (Wattys2017)

Funny Text Messages Part 2

Dipper's POV
I was hanging out with my boyfriend Bill Cipher when my phone go a notification.

Mabel- DIPPER GET HOME RIGHT NOW!!

Crap she seemed pissed. I tried to look back at what I did today trying to figure out what I did to upset her.

Dipper- why Mabel??

Mabel- I SAW YOU IN A GAY PORN VIDEO, I'M SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU!!

"God damn it, I'M GOING TO YOU BILL!" I yelled out at him.

"What? What did I do?" Bill asked acting innocent.

"You promised me you weren't going to show anyone that video of us!"

"I didn't, I just got someone to post it on pornhub."

"You idiot! No one was suppose to find out about that!"

"What? No one knows about it."

"Mabel just text me that she saw it. I haven't even told them I'm gay yet, you stupid ass!"

"Oh oops."

"Really all you are going to say us oops?!"

"Well look at how many views it's got." Bill said showing me his phone.

"What the hell Bill! It's the number 1 viewed video on the sight!" I yelled while hitting him. "Ugg!" I said in defeat.

Dipper- Well I'm gay, that's how I am Mabel.

I sat there without a response from her before I thought...

Dipper- Wait, why were you watching gay porn?!

Mabel- Just don't tell Grunkle Stan or Great Uncle Ford.

Dipper- As long as you don't tell them I'm gay.

Mabel- deal

Dipper- deal
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Dipper's POV

Dipper- Grunkle Stan, I'm gay.

Stan- I've committed tax fraud for the past decade.

Dipper- Huh?

Stan- Sorry I thought we had switched to saying things that were stupidly obvious.
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Dipper's POV
Mabel- Hey, want to hear a joke?

"Ugg." I was really not in the mood for this, but I didn't want to have Mabel complaining about how I don't listen to her jokes.

Dipper- Sure

Mabel- Okay, 2 people having sex is a twosome, 3 people having sex is a threesome, and 4 people having sex us a foursome.

Dipper- okay?

I just didn't get the joke, was I missing something?

Mabel- Now I know why they call you handsome.

"Ugg, really?" I asked myself, besides I know a better name.

Dipper- Actually I'm Billsome.
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Dipper's POV
Bill- Baby... How do you feel about me?

Dipper- Hmm... I think A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.

Bill- Wait, what does that mean?

Dipper- Awesome, Beautiful, Cute, Divine, Elegant, Fine, Gorgeous, Hot

Bill- Aww, what does I, J, K mean?

Dipper- I'm Just Kidding. Hahaha! Got you Bill!

Bill-  YOU BETTER TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK I, J, K REALLY MEANS!