Poem Collections

An Apology Note (sorta)

Don't tell me lies

Don't you ever tell me lies

Don't tell me you imagine a future with me when you don't even think you can deal with my baggage

I've told you about all the bad things I had to bring into this relationship

I fucking told you everything, and you said it didn't matter

You said you didn't care

But you did and you still do

Don't tell me that you're willing to deal with my baggage

When you know your arms are too weak to carry all of it

You have your own issues after all

You should have never prioritized my problems over yours

It's too much to carry

Don't say you'll be next to me when we're 80 and I'm still depressed

Cause now that you said that you might not be able to deal with this chemical imbalance in my brain

That beautiful future is fading away

I have no hope for a good future if I know you aren't in it

If you're not there I might as well die

I don't deserve a life without you

And it's my fault that I feel this way

I'm too clingy

Something I warned you about but you said you were too

I'm glued to you

I'm attached to you

I've planted my roots in you

I can't escape now

I'm trapped in your love

I can't escape it now it'll cost my life

But you can escape easily

Youve threatened to end things

You've admitted that it was manipulative

So why do you still do it

I beg you to get help for yourself cause you fucking need it

But you never listen

You always forget

But whenever I have an issue you give your 2 cents right away and I have to take your advice

I'm not allowed to decline

It's either I do as you say or you're mad at me indefinitely

That really isn't fair but I'm not too sure anymore

Is it fair to do that

Is it correct

Does it make sense

Cause I'm not sure what's wrong or right anymore

The way you speak to me seems correct and normal

Yet I'm stuck here imagining what another person would say

"you'll be okay"

"don't cry"

"this will all be over soon enough"

Is what I wanted

Instead I got

"I can't deal with your depression"

"if you don't do this I'll be mad"

You know how much stress I get from being pushed to do things

So why do you do it

You see me in distress when you tell me to confront someone

Why do you push me

I told you it doesn't work

It never does

Then I get stressed for no reason

A lot of the times I imagine someone else saying

"oh yeah, that's cool, I'll respect your decision. I don't agree with it, but I'll let you do what you think is right"

Why can't it be that simple

I just want simplicity

I avoid complexity as much as possible

It confuses me

It frustrates me

It annoys me

It irritates me

I can't deal with issues

So why do you push me

I'm sorry

I'm sorry I'm such a burden

I'm sorry I have depression and countless other things

I'm sorry you have to deal with me

You deserve better

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

I'm sorry